positive news: paris hiltons new record is "Not as bad as expected"

schmoo has been 100% wrong about Paris Hilton; we unreservedly apologise for our previous unfair and offensive attack on her political correctness.

Previously we have been anti-hilton but our political analysis has been flawed in this case; she could be a great singer/performer! In fact she could be better than Madonna.

One music critic said "It's fun music, it's danceable, with elements of Johnny Rotten, a little Gary Glitter, the sincerity of Bono and the presence of Pavaroti." Wow!

Soon cross dressers and transvestites who previously looked to Madonna for their fashion guidance will be all looking like the beautiful Paris Hilton. This is what makes human civilisation different from the aliens - we got style.

According to the authorative 'Bosh' gossip blog (recommended), the ever modest Paris Hilton says; 'I always had a great voice' - and she is right; we could hear her right across the Atlantic.

• schmoo says - "It is easy to poke fun at poor Paris Hilton for being a rich air head, but a normal rich chick would not work as hard as Paris Hilton does; she would just be lying on a beach. Instead Paris is working hard trying to find her place in the world - she has as much right to do that as anyone else. And she has got a brain; she knows about cannabis candy! We like her, and she could be really talented. Everyone has got a talent, but it is not easy finding it, even if you are very rich. She can come and record in the schmoo studio anytime she is in london, and that is genuine. Good luck to her.