Wednesday, April 12, 2006

mercy missions: the 'flying politician' service

Above: Tony Blair waiting for the Queens Flight, - now it may be sponsored by Richard Budson's 'Budways' Airlines.

You have probably heard of the 'Flying Doctor' which rushes children bitten by snakes in the outback of Australia to hospital, but you may not have heard of the 'Flying Politician' service.

Top British politicians like Tony Blair and Gordon Brown have been running the special service for years - and they have been too modest to tell anyone.

The life saving service rushes politicians like Gordon Brown to Brussels for meetings - it means he can spend more minutes with his new born child, and devote more time to saving the world from poverty.

Selfless Environment Secretary Margaret Beckett, also volunteers for the 'Queens Flight' on a regular basis, using RAF aircraft to fly her from East Midlands airport, near her home in Derby, on government 'save the planet' trips to discuss global warming, and the destruction of the ozone layer.

Saving no expense, Tony Blair has spent £1.2 million on 677 'mercy missions' since 1997, including family holidays abroad, and visiting unfairly deposed Italian charity worker Berlusconi, who was recently a victim of the wasting disease 'democracy', but is bravely refusing to accept defeat.

schmoo writes: attacks by the right wing press on New Labour politicians regarding their use of the Queens Flight are 50% unfair. The Tories, lead by John Major spent £3 million more on RAF flights in 1996/97 than Tony Blairs mob. Flying Gordon Brown and 5 of his hangers on to Brussels costs £1,300; going by EuroStar in standard class would cost about £1,750. Also all New Labour mercy flights are 'carbon offset' - by building environmental golf cources in Eritrea. A statement from Mrs Beckett, Environment Minister, said it was entirely reasonable for aircraft to pick her up from near her home - "especially if it was on a Monday morning". Absolutely right; monday mornings are crap..

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