Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Zimbabwe general strike flops: flip-out looms

It is not at all surprising to hear that the 'General Strike' called for by the opposition in Zimbabwe yesterday was a flop. With four out of five Zimbabweans unemployed, how could it ever work?

It seems that the only people who have jobs in Zimbabwe are the police, army, a few civil servants (mostly self employed bribe takers), Zimbabwean currency printers, professional people beaters, part time pro government demonstrators, and 'Torture, Massacre and Mayhem' instructors from North Korea. They all want to keep their jobs for as long as possible. These people won't be striking, they will be doing overtime.

The North Koreans have special world class 'know how', and an open plan 'can do' culture when it comes to obliterating the slightest glimmer of political opposition by any means necessary. If the opposition is supported by most of the country, that's no problem at all.

The North Koreans practice a liberal 'Open Door Policy' in all torture chambers; they leave the door open so other prisoners can hear the screams.

There are no wild animals left in Zimbabwe - they have all been eaten.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

gordon brown admits he does not get up everyday

Gordon Brown is quoted in today's Telegraph saying that he spends "every day that I wake up" trying to keep the economy on track.

Is Gordon Brown now admitting that he does not wake up everyday? If so, this is the first bit of positive news about him for ages.

Gordon Brown was definitely awake today. He spent a lot of time on defense; his own defense that is. He visited several front line media bunkers such as Channel Four News, where he actually gave a pretty good performance. He is so shy, and cares too much, but perhaps this is a sign that he might be human after all. He should be doing more sit down and fight TV interviews like this, less lectures.

Maybe then the British public will start to realise that Gordon Brown's Labour Government really is on their side, and doing some sensible things, despite what seems like the opposite.

Trouble is, Gordon Brown does not do 'sound bites' - he does 'sound hours'.

Up to now the general impression has been of a clunking fist of dubious human origin, who makes very boring declarations, from the parapets of a fortress.

And now the vultures are circling, attracted by the stench of doom in the once merry and spend thrift Kingdom. The vultures are biding their time for the inevitable end of something, when ever that may be, but they hope soon.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

proof that animals love cannabis as 'class b for brown' threat continues

It is possible that Gordon Brown suffers from a similar personality disorder as Oliver Cromwell, who banned Shakespeare.

Psychological analysis of Gordon Brown reveals that his recent outbursts on making Cannabis 'Class B for Brown' is part of an obvious pattern. This is the result of a behavioral disorder which gets increasingly violent and irrational, especially if not treated by one of the few drugs that would work without major side effects - cannabis.

The governments own 'Advisory Council on Drugs' has done yet another review at Browns request, and has advised that cannabis should stay in the 'Class C' category. But 'Class B for Brown' says he knows better, despite knowing almost nothing about cannabis, except what he might read in 'Mein Kampf'.

The government should be handing out prescriptions for cannabis not prosecutions.

GLIMMER OF HOPE: There may be a glimmer of hope for those who fear Puritan Brown may be about to blow over £1 billion pounds a year on making the possession of cannabis a 'category B' criminal offence, causing 100,0000 prosecutions a year, ruining many young lives and creating a huge drain on already frazzled police resources.

Analysis of Gordon Brown's behavioural disorder pattern reveals that he never actually does what he threatens he is going to do.

This is a classic attention and power seeking strategy in which the patient grabs attention and power by announcing that he or she is about to do something dramatic. It is a sadistic form of behavioral disorder involving the psychological torture of those who the patient wishes to control.

In Brown's case, due to his deep rooted insecurity, the torture is extended for as long as possible - and then he does the reverse of what he was threatening to do.

The pattern first started to emerge when Gordon Brown went to Iraq in the middle of the Tory Conference and dramatically announced that 1000 British troops would be 'Home by Christmas'. It turned out a lot of these troops were not there anyway.

This was followed by 'Browns Election' in which the entire nation was tortured for weeks and then the election was cancelled.

More recently Brown's behaviour has displayed increasingly violent undertones, with worryingly destructive elements emerging. For example while claiming to be dedicated to fighting poverty he punishes those closest to him by going into reverse and doubling the income tax rate for the poorest workers in Britain, physically assaulting over 5 million poor people with one 'clunking fist'.

According to form Brown will continue to use psychological torture as part of a personality disorder which can only worsen if not treated. He will continue to use threatening behaviour but this could escalate into violence if he feels very threatened. However once the attention buzz starts to wane, due to his insecurity he will usually back down from acting out his threats.

BROWN'S ATTENTION SEEKING THREATS: If this analysis is correct Gordon Brown will continue his attention seeking threats to make cannabis 'Class B For Brown' for a bit longer. Then he, or one of his minions like the Home Secretary, will announce that he is not going to do anything after all, having taken the advice of the experts. This way the Advisory Council can take the brunt of any criticism from the Daily Malice for which Brown apparently has a pathological fear causing clinical paranoia.

The real fear is that such is the extent of Browns disease that he no longer even cares about respect or popularity as long as he gets the attention he craves, like a junkie craves the next hit of British Army approved 'NATO Heroin' from Afghanistan.

A combination of clinical paranoia, insecurity, manic depression, fear of the Daily Mail and an escalating personality disorder with violent tendencies could cause Brown to become increasingly irrational and dangerous to those around him. In this state he might do something really insane like make Cannabis 'Class B'.

Conclusion: Gordon Brown has violent tendencies and should continue to be held in a 'Category A' secure institution under constant observation. As Brown's poll rating continues to fall faster than any British leader since the 1930's he could become increasingly dangerous. Someone with Brown's psychological profile, which is similar to that of a suicide bomber, could be capable of anything, including destroying the Labour Party for a generation.

Another example of this is Brown's irrational obsession with detaining young men for 42 days without charge. Against all advice from some of his closest collegues Brown insists on this like a brat screaming for a lost toy.

BROWN OUT IN SUMMER OF DISCONTENT: There is a chance that Brown's reign of bad breath, bad moods, 'passive aggressive' bullying and nose picking may soon be over. If the May local elections are a disaster for Labour, as predicted by almost everyone, Brown could be out of office and in a padded cell where he belongs, as soon as this summer.

Due to his own incompetence and nothing else, Calamity Brown now has his own cabinet in revolt and the rest of the Labour Party seriously considering his dispatch to the nearest mental hospital before he takes us all down in the next general election. Then the Cocaine Party really will make cannabis 'Class B', and turn most of Britain into the under class.

CLASS B FOR BROWN: The truth is that it is Gordon Brown who deserves to be in 'Class B', not cannabis. Gordon Brown was never 'Class A' material, but tests show he is far more dangerous than a spliff.

Perhaps Gordon Brown should read the new research showing that animals love cannabis and are prepared to work to get access to regular supplies just like humans. Could this be the answer to youth unemployment?

Gordon Brown Less Popular than Thatcher

Thursday, April 10, 2008

give pete doherty ibogaine

Above: the back of Pentonville Prison, London where Pete Doherty has stayed a couple of times (2005 & 2006). Last night he stayed in Wormwood Scrubs. Prison is not the right place for a sick man, but based on Good Behaviour he could be out in a month, well in time to be able to go to Glastonbury.

Some people have been saying its terrible that Pete Doherty has been allowed to get away with it for so long, and should have been sent to prison years ago. But Pete Doherty was sent to prison in 2006, 2005, and 2003.

Like most long term junkies poor old Pete has been sent to prison on numerous occasions at great expense to the taxpayer, but this is an almost total waste of everyone's time and money.

Even the weird and often very stupid creatures that reside in the Home Office have realised that criminalising drug addicts and sending them to prison does not work, not even as a big stick to beat them in to rehab. But they still do it all the time. That really is a crime.

And 'Rehab' is often just 12 steps to going back on smack or crack or whatever the local authorities running our crumbling council estates are selling at the moment.

Some junkies have been to so many rehabs they are addicted. They need a rehab from rehab.

Then there is methadone treatment. Methadone is more addictive than heroin and far more physically damaging. The Home Office loves dealing Methadone, but as it was invented by the Nazis, perhaps this should not be surprising to anyone.


Maybe they should try Ibogaine on Pete Doherty. It is not for everyone. Ibogaine is one of the most powerful natural psychedelics known to man - so powerful in fact that it can put you off drugs for life.

The Ibogaine induced 'Close To Death Experience' is usually the highlight of the trip which can last up to 30 hours, and is mostly spent projectile vomiting, and lying on your back staring at God, who turns out to be the ceiling.

An interesting side effect of taking Ibogaine is that it interrupts any addiction with draw effects, commonly for 3-6 months, giving a valuable window of opportunity for rebuilding a life. There are now a number of Ibogaine Clinics operating worldwide.

Is the Home Office interested in doing some research on the effectiveness of Ibogaine's addiction interrupting qualities? schmoo asked, but the answer is No.

A "Free Pete Doherty!" Facebook support site has just been set up, and already has comments both kind and bigoted.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

ken livingstone one point ahead as Johnson goes black and white

Ken Livingstone did something funny today. He announced that he has put his opponent Boris Johnson's latest election YouTube video up on his own campaign site.

Ken has his own election video, and Johnson's spooky and very negative black and white 'Dracula of London' video on the same page so you can even run them simultaneously. The comparison is stark.

Meanwhile those who feared that the Evening Standard was going to be elected mayor of London may have a glimmer of hope; today Ken Livingston was neck and neck but drawing one point ahead in the latest MORI poll today.

Hopefully Londoners are still wise to the Evening Standard with its property developer editorial board, and estate agent journalists. Way back in history now, in a Greater London Authority election that brought Ken Livingston to power, the Evening Standard had just two words on it's front page on the day of the election; "Vote Tory". ... and Labour won by a landslide.

The only way the Tories got rid of Ken Livingstone that time was by abolishing the GLA, ending democratic Home Rule in London for years.

Even though Ken is doing well surviving the vicious campaign against him, led by the 'Evading Standards', there is still a chance that the Tories will win this time. If that happens it will be similar to when the obviously best team loses in football, or when we just got the VHS video standard, instead of the far superior Betamax which lost the marketing battle.

Hopefully not too many good people will waste their votes on the Green Nazi Party or worse, because really all they will be doing is voting Tory unless they vote for Ken Livingstone. Like him or hate him; Ken really is the best man for the job.

We need to make sure London does not go black and white with Johnson the Tory Minstrel.

Mad Raving Loony

The other nightmare scenario is that London is run like the Metropolitan police by Ex Inspector Paddock, supposedly running for the Liberals, but who thinks Cannabis should never have been made Class C. Paddock plans to bore us to tears ... for years. He could sneak in behind and win on the second preference votes. This is where perhaps we really do need the Mad Raving Loony Party.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

new plan for olympics

The Schmoo Construction Corporation has come up with a plan to solve all the problems associated with holding the Olympics.

The Olympic Reform Plan involves the construction of a massive floating island with enough space for all the stadiums, accommodation and other infrastructure to hold the Olympics.

According to the reform plan there would be the normal Olympics; the Paraplegic Olympics and the main event; the Drug Olympics in which athletes will be allowed to use what ever drugs they like to achieve the best record breaking results possible.

The construction of a 'one off' Olympics floating island would solve a lot of problems:

Powered by the multiple windmill, solar panel, recycled hemp, sail system developed by the Schmoo Construction Corporation, the floating Olympic Island is designed so it can be moved around the planet allowing the maximum number of people to be close to it every few years.

An option extra is the ability to go only to places with the perfect climate for athletics and doing nothing. This is possible using the schmoo "Perfect Climate Automatic Navigation Device' which is attachable to bicycles, boats, cars and floating islands. The Dulux version enables the user to calibrate the Perfect Climate with the Perfect Political Climate, so they are always in the best place at the best time.

Every part of the island will be biodegradable, organic, made of hemp based construction materials, seaweed or use recycled materials as much as possible to way above British supermarket standards. The Co2 'splash print' of the Olympic island will be minimal. There is no truth in the claims by hysterical 'greens' that the reduction in global CO2 emissions created by the Olympic Island could be enough to put 'Global Warming' in reverse and start a new Ice Age.

When fairly close to the mainland a bridge made out of several billion recycled plastic bottles and tin cans collected from the local area will be constructed. This will contribute to general eco tidiness and harmony with nature, while at the same time be capable of carrying up to 10,000 4/4's an hour from the mainland. These will be parked in massive underwater permanent car parks on the sea bed, encased in quick setting re cycled plastic to avoid toxic spillages, and used to anchor the Olympic island during it's stay. When the island moves they will be left as an Olympic Legacy Reef of 4/4's covered in coral.

The 'one off' construction plan will greatly ease the burden on the local population of which ever nation 'wins' the task of holding the Olympic events, saving them being crippled for generations by billions of pounds of expensive debt, and avoiding the demolition of whole 'up and coming' slum neighbourhoods. Instead of creating the risk of serious civil unrest or worse, their leaders can enjoy hosting the Olympic event for themselves and their associates as usual, but now on an island that is guaranteed to be trouble free. All this, while still getting maximum exposure for corporate logo's etc Once they realise the advantages Governments will be desperate to get involved.

It will also be relatively cheap to change the style theme to that of for example Papa New Guinea, the Congo, Mongolia etc. Up grades and maintanence costs will be minimal.

The sport training assets could be used all year round by athletes from poorer countries such as Britain, whose Olympic sports stars often have to sign on as Job Seekers when they are training full time, which is illegal. As part of the the unique Olympic training scheme developed by Britain, the government cuts the athlete's benefit payments off without warning because they have failed to provide adequate proof that they are looking for work, or because they 'signed on' 4.4 seconds after the correct time.

To bring in extra revenue and cut the dependency on commercial sponsorship other special events could be held on the island such as the G8 meetings, Bilderberg meetings, nuclear war crisis meetings, 9.11/2 planning meetings, and major festivals such as the new Global Glastonbury Festival.

Politial protesters could be given their own smaller island which would follow the Olympics Island where ever it went. A special protest event organised by China, Burma, Uzbekistan and the Sudan called 'Olympic Protest Swimming Through Sharks And Piranhas' could be one of the high lights. This involves Olympic Protest Athlete's attempting to illegally swim to the main island through specially infested shark and piranha waters, full of floating minefields, gun boats and helicopter gunships ordered to strafe swimmers on sight with heavy machine gun fire and then use napalm.

• Thanks to it's natural floating technology the Olympic Island will be immune to rising sea levels and can be moved out of the way of hurricanes and crashing asteroids. Being so big it will be able to 'surf' over a 90 meter tsunami wave if required (unfortunately this will not be the case for the smaller protester island).

If the USA collapses completely the United Nations Building, currently in New York could be moved to the island on short notice at minimum cost.

The Schmoo Construction Corporation is responsible for the construction of 'Planet Schmoo' now in random orbit somewhere in the 'freezones' on the outer reaches of the Galaxy.

is Alliance and Leicester about to go down ... today?

Rumors are spreading like wildfire amongst accountants in London that Alliance & Leicester is about to disappear with all the money down a drain somewhere in Britain - today.

We shall see - but even if this tragedy does not happen it just shows how jittery everyone is having calamity Gordon Brown on his own at the helm of the good ship Britannia, with it's long suffering crew at his mercy.

Fact: Labour is still the best bet (out of a bad bunch) for the majority of people in Britain; but despite Brown, not because of him.

Biggest house price plunge for 15 years

protest olympics kick off

Britain's hopes for a Olympic Protest Gold were dashed when protesters in Paris managed to force the extinction of the 'unity' flame and caused the hapless authorities to abandon the planned Olympic Relay Riot Event in central Paris.

Britain started off well in the Fire Extinguisher event and a 31 mile Marathon Protest through London but despite 35 arrests they just did not have the strength of the Paris team. Even so they managed to force a change of route and create bad publicity for China all over the world, which could still earn them a Silver medal.

But now the American team in San Francisco will be hoping they can knock Britain into third place and take the Gold from the nation that let Hitler take over their country.

Meanwhile the Australian team has said that unlike Britain and France they will not allow the Chinese Protest Stopper Team into the country when the Olympic Protest event kicks off in Australia. Chinese Protest Stoppers are trained in hard core Chinese Protest Stopping strategies which are mainly practiced in China and banned in most countries.

It is certainly true that there were complaints at the London event that the Chinese team tried too hard to get in the way of the Olympic Protest Athletes as they attempted the difficult Flame Grab event. However the Chinese made a big concession by dressing in blue track suits instead of the usual army uniforms, and used only their fists instead of the usual rifle butt and bullet. There have been calls for them to be given surprise 'Anger Tests' which many believe they would fail, resulting in their automatic elimination from the 'peace and harmony' Olympics event.

greens exposed manipulating global warming facts

Goebbels the Nazi propaganda minister tried to get the BBC to change it's critical coverage of Hitler's racialist lies - and failed.

But now Jo Abbess, a 'green' global warming 'activist', has been exposed succeeding where Goebbels failed, by getting the BBC to suppress information from the World Meteorological Organisation which puts a big dent in the Global Warming Hysteria machine.

A leaked email exchange between Jo Abbess and BBC Environment reporter Roger Harrabin published on Jennifer Marohasy's environmental politics blog shows exactly how the green media manipulator is guilty of a conscious effort to suppress scientific information showing that Global Warming has been decreasing since 1998.

"Never trust a Hippy" should really read - "Never trust a Green". As for the BBC and 'reporter' Rober Harrabin? They must be very ashamed.

More on Jo Abbess: see her gallery of Green Anorak Mad People. Not only does she believe humans are causing Global Warming, like a lot of confused souls, it seems she believes in 'God' while doing the work of the Devil by arrogantly warping the truth.

Vote Green - go Blackshirt