Friday, October 8, 2010

schmoo safe house renovated

The schmoo safe house has been renovated with the latest security, including 'secret weapon technology', while Italian marble has been used extensively in the public and private areas.


Because of the renovation work and other security measures which we cannot discuss for security reasons, the 'schmoo on the run' blog is now at

You may also be interested in the following schmoo sites:

Thursday, April 22, 2010

second election debate: verdict = nobody wins as usual

As usual in British elections Nobody won the second election debate, and the government will get in.

second election debate: worm turns against cameron

When David Cameron said in his summing up statement that "We need change" the ITV focus group style 'worm' nose dived into lost deposit terror-ity for the Tories.

8.29pm: now Cameron agrees with Clegg

This is such an obvious strategy it sucks

Second election debate: schmoo poll says Gordon is winning on points

According to the Schmoo Broadcasting Corporation instant poll: Gordon Brown first, Nick Clegg second, Cameron close third

Second election debate: Cameron says "I completely agree with Gordon"

creepy tory

Second election debate: Cameron will say "I agree with Gordon"

In fact Cameron has just said "I completely agree with Gordon"

Thursday, November 5, 2009

bbc down confirmed

The whole BBC website has gone off the internet and has been for several hours now. But almost nobody is mentioning it. Here at the safehouse data center deep beneath central London we immediately activated code red when the first episode of the new Spooks series suddenly evaporated. A massive internet glitch seems to have occurred for a few minutes during which a number of UK websites became unavailable, including the BBC which remains down. If they do not fix this by the morning the whole world will see a big internet crater where the BBC once was.

This is how the world would be if Murdock and his vile friends in the Tory Party had their way: Tories threaten to tear up Lord Reith's BBC legacy.

• Update (AM 5th Nov): BBC back, there are suggestions that the BBC's problems may be with one of their internet service providers Akamai while a brief statement from the BBC blames "network problems".

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

royal mail thrown out with rubbish

Royal Mail Postal Strike Tragedy: Why? A postman tries to explain (letter in Guardian):
"Consider the fact that delivery office managers (DOMs) will get £8,000 each for making improvements in their offices. Section managers, however, only receive £2,000 each. The postmen who have been "encouraged" to help make things work will receive £0. As an added thank-you we will not be receiving a pay rise – a kind of "stick and stick approach", as they can't afford carrots. In addition the chairman is to have £145,000 paid to top up his pension fund at a time when there is insufficient money available from the huge recently announced profits to alleviate the Royal Mail pension fund that is allegedly a little short. Obviously the £2m bonus he got in the past was insufficient.
Scottish Government delivers blow to Royal Mail

John Lewis sidelines Royal Mail

Royal Mail loses Amazon contract as postal strikes loom

Delivered into intensive care

Windows 7 ships early to avoid postal strike

Royal Mail Under Attack

iraq war eco tragedy is killing babies everyday

Petition to the United Nations:

In September 2009, Fallujah General Hospital had 170 new born babies, 24% of whom were dead within the first seven days, a staggering 75% of the dead babies were classified as deformed. This can be compared with data from the month of August in 2002 where there were 530 new born babies of whom six were dead within the first seven days and only one birth defect was reported.

Doctors in Fallujah have specifically pointed out that not only are they witnessing unprecedented numbers of birth defects but premature births have also considerably increased after 2003. But what is more alarming is that doctors in Fallujah have said, "a significant number of babies that do survive begin to develop severe disabilities at a later stage".

As one of a number of doctors, scientists and those with deep concern for Iraq, Dr Chris Burns-Cox, a British hospital physician, wrote a letter to the Rt. Hon. Clare Short, M.P. asking about this situation. She wrote a letter to the Rt. Hon.Douglas Alexander, M.P. the Secretary of State of the Department for International Development (a post she had held before she resigned on a matter of principle in May 2003 ) asking for clarification of the position of deformed children in Fallujah.

She received a reply dated 3rd September 2009 (two days after the Sky TV broadcast of 1st September 2009 ) from a junior minister, deputy to The Secretary of State, Mr. Gareth Thomas MP, Duty Minister, Department for International Development. In his reply he denies that there are more than two or three deformed babies in Fallujah in a year and asserts that there is, therefore, no problem. This is at wild variance with reports coming out of Fallujah. One grave digger of a single cemetery is burying four to five babies a day, most of which he says are deformed.

Clare Short passed us a copy of this letter. It bears a remarkable similarity to three other written answers we have received over a four year period, in regard to child health and the use of depleted uranium. All these letters are based on lies and an aim to confuse the recipients. In her autobiography "Honorable Deception?" Clare Short says "The first instinct of Number 10 (Downing Street) is to lie."We regard the mendacity of Mr. Thomas's letter, and of the other letters we have received, as extremely serious. These letters do not deal with minor matters of corruption, or taxes, but do deal with the use of armed forces and deadly weapons.

The use of certain weapons has tremendous repercussions. Iraq will become a country, if it has not already done so, where it is advisable not to have children. Other countries will watch what has happened in Iraq, and imitate the Coalition Allies' total disregard of the United Nations Charter, The Geneva, and Hague Conventions, and the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court. Some countries, such as Afghanistan, will also come to experience the very long term damage to the environment, measured in billions of years, and the devastating effect of depleted uranium and white phosphorous munitions.

If, as we say in our letter to the Duty Minister of the Department for International Development, the UK Government clearly does not know the effects of the weapons it uses, nor, as a matter of policy, does "it do body counts", how can the UK Government judge whether it is conducting the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan according to International Law, especially in terms of "proportionality" and long term damage to the natural environment? How can the UK know about the illegality of the weapons systems it sells on the international market, such as the "Storm Shadow" missile, if the very Department of the Government that is supposed to assess the deaths and medical needs of children and adults in Iraq is not telling the truth.

We request from the United Nations General Assembly the following:

1. To acknowledge that there is a serious problem regarding the unprecedented number of birth defects and cancer cases in Iraq specifically in Fallujah, Basra, Baghdad and Al - Najaf.

2. To set up an independent committee to conduct a full investigation into the problem of the increased number of birth defects and cancers in Iraq.

3. To implement the cleaning up of toxic materials used by the occupying forces including Depleted Uranium, and White Phosphorus.

4. To prevent children and adults entering contaminated areas to minimize exposure to these hazards.

5. To investigate whether war crimes, or crimes against humanity, have been committed, and thereby uphold the United Nations Charter, The Geneva and Hague Conventions, and The Rome Statute of The International Criminal Court.

Sincerely, The Undersigned

This petition (sign here) is being organised by Iraq Solidarity UK.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

great climate change swoop forces advance

Photo + more photos: indymedia

12.15pm: Eco warrior forces of the Great Climate Change Swoop, who have been filtering into front line positions over night, are now advancing in a three pronged attack on the EDF power station Ratcliffe-on-Soar near Nottingham, one of the biggest in Britain.

However they are meeting with heavy resistance from government forces loyal to EDF.

Meanwhile mopping up operations are still going on at the highly fortified EDF YouTube PR base which came under heavy attack by swoop videos earlier in the week, causing EDF PR Forces to retreat under intense comment fire. EDF PR have since mounted several counter attacks against the militants with some success, but sporadic comment exchanges continue.

Latest (1pm): Swoop forces at Ratcliffe power station (one of the cleanest in the world) have broken though government lines at several locations and have breached the perimeter fence.

2.37 pm: Swoop forces are now near cooling towers, while others have blocked the strategically important train track.

5.22 pm: Government forces say they have captured 21 Swoopers who are being held as POW's.

• safehouse security status:
red alert, total security lock down, activating emergency generators now.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

cameron speech: are we doomed to years of this sustained unadulterated rubbish?

"Don't lecture us", said David Camercon.

Would you buy a used but 'born again' Tory party (with a copy of the Sun) from this mad looking preacher man who says he wants to lead a Tory mob to "tear down the state"? David Cameron's sales pitch (speech) in full.

• Analysis: If it was an intelligence test, Cameron dived; either the Tories are doomed, or we are.

• schmoo's credit crunch package to restart britain

tory arrested over £150 bottle of champagne

gold up, humanity down

Should be glad, gold went over $1000 and I have got some (in the safehouse's deepest vault), but not glad at all. It does not mean the gold miners get paid anything like what they are worth (even if they go on strike), nor will there be any less cyanide pollution.

Friday, August 28, 2009

the story of stuff

Above: Intro to The Story of Stuff by Annie Lenoard. Watch the whole film here.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

i went to the supermarket and i saw some ufos

Ministry of Defence files, documenting around 800 UFO sightings between 1981 and 1996 have just been released.

To celebrate this event, 'schmmo experience productions' have produced a new music video: I Went to the Supermarket and I Saw Some UFOs, but judging by some of the comments on Youtube this has annoyed a few UFO lovers. Current safehouse security level has been raised to: unknown.

The Daily Telegraph suggests a secret US spy plane could be behind many UFO sightings, but publishes a list of the top ten unexplained UFO 'close encounters'.

Meanwhile the ever cynical Guardian publishes a UFO study that supposedly shows a marked increase in UFO sightings whenever a UFO related film or TV series is released; for example a surge to 158 sightings in 2005 when Doctor Who is relaunched on the BBC. Needless to say, the study is utterly flawed.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

david cameron: twitter tory "twat"

David Cameron is worried that twittering might make him a "Twat", but he should not worry, because he already is one. Camercon is always twittering with his shallow sound bites. This serial spammer will do anything to get followers.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

big green gathering "festival banned" conspiracy story is a lie

Above: traffic jams at the Big Green Gathering 2007. It was chaos.

ONE thing is for sure, we have not got the full story on the reasons why the Big Green Gathering has been cancelled, especially from the greens.

At the moment they are pushing the "festival banned" conspiracy theory; namely that this is all an evil plot by the government to screw up the Climate Camp activists and Plane Stupid.

Avon & Somerset police and Mendip District Council have a very different story of course.

Medip District Council issued a statement today:
The failure of the organisers to address a number of serious public safety issues meant that they had no other option but to cancel it themselves. The fact is that organisers chose to surrender the licence before an application was made to the High Court. The final decision to prepare legal papers for a High Court hearing was made on Friday evening (July 24), but a court application was not expected to be made until yesterday (Monday, July 27). In addition to the several months of help and advice they had been given by both us and emergency services, the weekend provided even more opportunity for the organisers to fulfil their licence obligations. However, they handed their licence back to us on Sunday morning (July 26). Many hours of council time have been committed to help make this event happen, but the lack of assurances from the organisers about the safety of their event were continually causing concern for the council and emergency services. There has been an apparent lack of coordination in managing and meeting the obligations of the licence, and now the cancellation of this event creates many more issues and a heavier workload for the council and emergency services than if it had gone ahead safely. Mendip is a council which is recognised nationally with its partners for licensing large events. The bottom line is we know about licensing festivals, and therefore would not have taken a decision to consider legal action lightly. Preparing for legal action is a last resort.
"We won’t ever let something like this happen to us again." said an early statement on the Big Green Gathering website which has since been deleted. Seems like they were admitting the cancellation was ultimately their own fault, at least for a bit.

Like most paranoid conspiracy theories the "festival banned" story is utter tosh. Why would the government need to go to such lengths against the Climate Change Camp and their hysterical hangers on? This very small group of people have totally succeeded in marginalising themselves and losing public support by their sanctimonious and plain stupid antics. They are not a threat to the government, although in their self important dream world they would love to be.

The plain truth is probably something like this. While there are some good people involved, the Big Green Gathering management is sadly infested with the worst type of 'radical' green types; people who have very little connection to reality, and are utterly incompetent when it comes to anything to do with organisation and keeping financial affairs in order.

These are the people who have held back the green movement and the Green Party for years, keeping it marginalised and putting off mass support where ever they go. Thankfully the Green Party seems to have finally brought these 'idiots within' under control, but the Big Green Gathering obviously has not.

Dozens of other festivals have managed to deal with difficult and expensive security and health and safety issues, but not these "activists". Their incompetence is the main reason the festival has been stopped.

I have had dealings with some of these green liars in the past. That is why I suspect the other reason the Green Gathering was stopped is that they are rude, irresponsible and have a major problem with dealing with authority.

They say they are 'anti-capitalist', but in their midst are the meanest and most exploitative, dishonest bunch of hypocrites and fools I have ever come across.

Hopefully the Big Green Gathering will survive. For a start they need to throw out both the dodgy 'radical green activists', and the dodgy right wing American billionaire. With people like that involved it is no wonder the event had to be cancelled; it was obviously dangerous.

Seems like a lot of Big Green Gathering refugees might be going to the Isle of White to support the Vegas Wind turbine factory occupation which is trying to save 600 eco jobs. That sounds like a Green Gathering worth supporting. Full 'Vfestival' details here.

There is a new conspiracy story being spread that Facebook has shut down the Big Green Gathering group. I do not trust Facebook an inch, but this is another lie.

Posted on the UKhippy Forum:
Yes, over the years there has been opposition from Mendip, oiled by their Pilton millions. And there has been opposition from certain high ranking police officers, no doubt fuelled by orders from on high who are anti environmentalist events. But this is not new, it has been in place a number of years. The BGG went into the planning for 2009 with a deficit of six figures, accumulated over the years by an unwillingness amongst certain directors to face financial reality. They arranged a buy out with Stuart Galbraith and Kilimanjaro to the tune of 150K, but at the end of the day he only came up with 50. He then saw what a bunch of idealistic amateurs he was dealing with (from his perspective), stayed in until he could get his 50K back, and then did a runner, thus leaving the BGG in the cack. The police and Mendip looked at the sorry state of affairs and used the excuse of permits not being applied for within the proper time frame to close it down. Ths whole debacle is the primarily the result of a few directors being out of touch with the real world and still pretending that they were at Greenham or on Cruisewatch. If the BGG had gone into this year on a more organised financial footing, be sure that Mendip and the police would not have taken this step. How do I know this? Well, I was a director until this time last year, and I maintain regular contact with a number of company insiders. It was clear to me at the end of July last year that the writing was on the wall, but only myself and one other director (incidentally, the only two directors who were self employed and running successful businesses with good financial management, but ignored by the 'elder states people' on the board) stood up and said this. I was pooh poohed and ignored, so I walked. So yes, it was the police and Mendip, with the help of Stewarts security, but only because the whole thing was turning into a shambolic farce - IMHO.

gordon brown unplugged

Even if you don't agree with Gordon Brown on anything, I think this talk by him on TED gives a rare glimpse of the real Gordon and what makes him tick. What really stands out is Gordon Brown 'unplugged' from the constraints of the usual media sound bites he is not very good at. He covers a lot of ground, bringing in everything from the power of blogging and how to avoid being tracked by the authorities, to the desperate need to solve poverty, protect the environment and defend human rights .... and even Amy Winehouse. Relaxed and cracking a reasonable joke or two, Gordon Brown comes across as a passionate, intelligent and caring man; in fact exactly the sort of person we need as prime minister. People need to see more of this side of Gordon Brown, and he needs to stop hiding his true self. I am just worried we are going to be stuck with a shallow minded Tory snake-oil salesman for the next five years. David Cameron could never give a talk as straight from the heart as this obviously is.