Above: Spring is in the air - snogging parrot swingers in New York ignore health warnings as bird flu hits Britain.
LONDON: The famous pigeons of London are unusually quiet, and some may already be evacuating the city as the media spreads panic amongst the human population.
A government pigeon spokesman appealed for calm; "Don't turn a drama in to a crisis", he said, dropping shit on those who claim the 'crisis' is a scam organized by Donald Robbersfeld (otherwise known as the parrot US Secretary of Defence Donald Rumsfeld who is squabbling with parrot Condoleezza Rice).
• It has been confirmed today that pigeons can catch bird flu despite previous government denials. Domestic cats are also in danger as they kill huge numbers of birds, and have been known to die of the virus, which is constantly mutating to be able to infect different spicies. So far few humans have died but this may only be part of the virus's strategy - it avoids killing at first in order to be able to spread, and learn more about the weakness of it's prey. Thousands of humans may have already been infected by the virus 'in disguise' thinking they just had a nastly flu.
H5N1 is still in the intelligence gathering phase before Iran is attacked; the bombing campaign and the land war are yet to come.
* Picture from the excellent BrooklynParrots.com: A Web Site About the Wild Parrots of Brooklyn