don't buy kit kat - or you could end up in big brother

Warning: Big Brother is after you!

Don't buy Kit Kat, or accept Kit Kat from strangers - it could be a trap to get you into the 'Big Brother' House of Horrors, and end up with a fate worse than George Galloway.

In fact if you win a 'Willy Wonker and the Chocolate Factory' style 'Golden Ticket' in a Kit Kat your fate could be a lot worse than George Galloway (and he has still not recovered). You could end up sharing a bed with:

• A porn model who claims she has the biggest breast implants in Britain.
• An ex Miss Wales who is willing to have sex with anyone for fame. She says has never had sex inside before - only in the garden.
• Niki the Pole Dancer "I havent had sex in 6 months 'I'm boiling up'
• 'Budda Babe - only 25 but looks 55.
• 'Jobless Lisa': she swears, burps, farts and smokes 30 a day and is looking for love.
• An Indian cross dresser.
• A Toff who claims he knows Prince Harry and Prince William.

Remember: respect yourself, don't take Kit Kat from strangers (including shop keepers), watch out for dirty old Big Brothers, they are out to get you.

big brother