bbc down confirmed

The whole BBC website has gone off the internet and has been for several hours now. But almost nobody is mentioning it. Here at the safehouse data center deep beneath central London we immediately activated code red when the first episode of the new Spooks series suddenly evaporated. A massive internet glitch seems to have occurred for a few minutes during which a number of UK websites became unavailable, including the BBC which remains down. If they do not fix this by the morning the whole world will see a big internet crater where the BBC once was.

This is how the world would be if Murdock and his vile friends in the Tory Party had their way: Tories threaten to tear up Lord Reith's BBC legacy.

• Update (AM 5th Nov): BBC back, there are suggestions that the BBC's problems may be with one of their internet service providers Akamai while a brief statement from the BBC blames "network problems".

royal mail thrown out with rubbish

Royal Mail Postal Strike Tragedy: Why? A postman tries to explain (letter in Guardian):

"Consider the fact that delivery office managers (DOMs) will get £8,000 each for making improvements in their offices. Section managers, however, only receive £2,000 each. The postmen who have been "encouraged" to help make things work will receive £0. As an added thank-you we will not be receiving a pay rise – a kind of "stick and stick approach", as they can't afford carrots. In addition the chairman is to have £145,000 paid to top up his pension fund at a time when there is insufficient money available from the huge recently announced profits to alleviate the Royal Mail pension fund that is allegedly a little short. Obviously the £2m bonus he got in the past was insufficient.

• Scottish Government delivers blow to Royal Mail

• John Lewis sidelines Royal Mail

• Royal Mail loses Amazon contract as postal strikes loom

• Delivered into intensive care

• Windows 7 ships early to avoid postal strike

• Royal Mail Under Attack

iraq war eco tragedy is killing babies everyday

Petition to the United Nations:

In September 2009, Fallujah General Hospital had 170 new born babies, 24% of whom were dead within the first seven days, a staggering 75% of the dead babies were classified as deformed. This can be compared with data from the month of August in 2002 where there were 530 new born babies of whom six were dead within the first seven days and only one birth defect was reported.

Doctors in Fallujah have specifically pointed out that not only are they witnessing unprecedented numbers of birth defects but premature births have also considerably increased after 2003. But what is more alarming is that doctors in Fallujah have said, "a significant number of babies that do survive begin to develop severe disabilities at a later stage".

As one of a number of doctors, scientists and those with deep concern for Iraq, Dr Chris Burns-Cox, a British hospital physician, wrote a letter to the Rt. Hon. Clare Short, M.P. asking about this situation. She wrote a letter to the Rt. Hon.Douglas Alexander, M.P. the Secretary of State of the Department for International Development (a post she had held before she resigned on a matter of principle in May 2003 ) asking for clarification of the position of deformed children in Fallujah.

She received a reply dated 3rd September 2009 (two days after the Sky TV broadcast of 1st September 2009 ) from a junior minister, deputy to The Secretary of State, Mr. Gareth Thomas MP, Duty Minister, Department for International Development. In his reply he denies that there are more than two or three deformed babies in Fallujah in a year and asserts that there is, therefore, no problem. This is at wild variance with reports coming out of Fallujah. One grave digger of a single cemetery is burying four to five babies a day, most of which he says are deformed.

Clare Short passed us a copy of this letter. It bears a remarkable similarity to three other written answers we have received over a four year period, in regard to child health and the use of depleted uranium. All these letters are based on lies and an aim to confuse the recipients. In her autobiography "Honorable Deception?" Clare Short says "The first instinct of Number 10 (Downing Street) is to lie."We regard the mendacity of Mr. Thomas's letter, and of the other letters we have received, as extremely serious. These letters do not deal with minor matters of corruption, or taxes, but do deal with the use of armed forces and deadly weapons.

The use of certain weapons has tremendous repercussions. Iraq will become a country, if it has not already done so, where it is advisable not to have children. Other countries will watch what has happened in Iraq, and imitate the Coalition Allies' total disregard of the United Nations Charter, The Geneva, and Hague Conventions, and the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court. Some countries, such as Afghanistan, will also come to experience the very long term damage to the environment, measured in billions of years, and the devastating effect of depleted uranium and white phosphorous munitions.

If, as we say in our letter to the Duty Minister of the Department for International Development, the UK Government clearly does not know the effects of the weapons it uses, nor, as a matter of policy, does "it do body counts", how can the UK Government judge whether it is conducting the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan according to International Law, especially in terms of "proportionality" and long term damage to the natural environment? How can the UK know about the illegality of the weapons systems it sells on the international market, such as the "Storm Shadow" missile, if the very Department of the Government that is supposed to assess the deaths and medical needs of children and adults in Iraq is not telling the truth.

We request from the United Nations General Assembly the following:

1. To acknowledge that there is a serious problem regarding the unprecedented number of birth defects and cancer cases in Iraq specifically in Fallujah, Basra, Baghdad and Al - Najaf.

2. To set up an independent committee to conduct a full investigation into the problem of the increased number of birth defects and cancers in Iraq.

3. To implement the cleaning up of toxic materials used by the occupying forces including Depleted Uranium, and White Phosphorus.

4. To prevent children and adults entering contaminated areas to minimize exposure to these hazards.

5. To investigate whether war crimes, or crimes against humanity, have been committed, and thereby uphold the United Nations Charter, The Geneva and Hague Conventions, and The Rome Statute of The International Criminal Court.

Sincerely, The Undersigned

• This petition (sign here) is being organised by Iraq Solidarity UK.

great climate change swoop forces advance

Photo + more photos: indymedia

12.15pm: Eco warrior forces of the Great Climate Change Swoop, who have been filtering into front line positions over night, are now advancing in a three pronged attack on the EDF power station Ratcliffe-on-Soar near Nottingham, one of the biggest in Britain.

However they are meeting with heavy resistance from government forces loyal to EDF.

Meanwhile mopping up operations are still going on at the highly fortified EDF YouTube PR base which came under heavy attack by swoop videos earlier in the week, causing EDF PR Forces to retreat under intense comment fire. EDF PR have since mounted several counter attacks against the militants with some success, but sporadic comment exchanges continue.

Latest (1pm): Swoop forces at Ratcliffe power station (one of the cleanest in the world) have broken though government lines at several locations and have breached the perimeter fence.

2.37 pm: Swoop forces are now near cooling towers, while others have blocked the strategically important train track.

5.22 pm: Government forces say they have captured 21 Swoopers who are being held as POW's.



















• safehouse security status: red alert, total security lock down, activating emergency generators now.

cameron speech: are we doomed to years of this sustained unadulterated rubbish?

"Don't lecture us", said David Camercon.

Would you buy a used but 'born again' Tory party (with a copy of the Sun) from this mad looking preacher man who says he wants to lead a Tory mob to "tear down the state"? David Cameron's sales pitch (speech) in full.

• Analysis: If it was an intelligence test, Cameron dived; either the Tories are doomed, or we are.

• schmoo's credit crunch package to restart britain

• tory arrested over £150 bottle of champagne

gold up, humanity down

Should be glad, gold went over $1000 and I have got some (in the safehouse's deepest vault), but not glad at all. It does not mean the gold miners get paid anything like what they are worth (even if they go on strike), nor will there be any less cyanide pollution.

hip hop columbia

the story of stuff

Above: Intro to The Story of Stuff by Annie Lenoard. Watch the whole film here.

i went to the supermarket and i saw some ufos

Ministry of Defence files, documenting around 800 UFO sightings between 1981 and 1996 have just been released.

To celebrate this event, 'schmmo experience productions' have produced a new music video: I Went to the Supermarket and I Saw Some UFOs, but judging by some of the comments on Youtube this has annoyed a few UFO lovers. Current safehouse security level has been raised to: unknown.

The Daily Telegraph suggests a secret US spy plane could be behind many UFO sightings, but publishes a list of the top ten unexplained UFO 'close encounters'.

Meanwhile the ever cynical Guardian publishes a UFO study that supposedly shows a marked increase in UFO sightings whenever a UFO related film or TV series is released; for example a surge to 158 sightings in 2005 when Doctor Who is relaunched on the BBC. Needless to say, the study is utterly flawed.

david cameron: twitter tory "twat"

David Cameron is worried that twittering might make him a "Twat", but he should not worry, because he already is one. Camercon is always twittering with his shallow sound bites. This serial spammer will do anything to get followers.

big green gathering "festival banned" conspiracy story is a lie

Above: traffic jams at the Big Green Gathering 2007. It was chaos.

ONE thing is for sure, we have not got the full story on the reasons why the Big Green Gathering has been cancelled, especially from the greens.

At the moment they are pushing the "festival banned" conspiracy theory; namely that this is all an evil plot by the government to screw up the Climate Camp activists and Plane Stupid.

Avon & Somerset police and Mendip District Council have a very different story of course.

Medip District Council issued a statement today:

The failure of the organisers to address a number of serious public safety issues meant that they had no other option but to cancel it themselves. The fact is that organisers chose to surrender the licence before an application was made to the High Court. The final decision to prepare legal papers for a High Court hearing was made on Friday evening (July 24), but a court application was not expected to be made until yesterday (Monday, July 27). In addition to the several months of help and advice they had been given by both us and emergency services, the weekend provided even more opportunity for the organisers to fulfil their licence obligations. However, they handed their licence back to us on Sunday morning (July 26). Many hours of council time have been committed to help make this event happen, but the lack of assurances from the organisers about the safety of their event were continually causing concern for the council and emergency services. There has been an apparent lack of coordination in managing and meeting the obligations of the licence, and now the cancellation of this event creates many more issues and a heavier workload for the council and emergency services than if it had gone ahead safely. Mendip is a council which is recognised nationally with its partners for licensing large events. The bottom line is we know about licensing festivals, and therefore would not have taken a decision to consider legal action lightly. Preparing for legal action is a last resort.

"We won’t ever let something like this happen to us again." said an early statement on the Big Green Gathering website which has since been deleted. Seems like they were admitting the cancellation was ultimately their own fault, at least for a bit.

Like most paranoid conspiracy theories the "festival banned" story is utter tosh. Why would the government need to go to such lengths against the Climate Change Camp and their hysterical hangers on? This very small group of people have totally succeeded in marginalising themselves and losing public support by their sanctimonious and plain stupid antics. They are not a threat to the government, although in their self important dream world they would love to be.

The plain truth is probably something like this. While there are some good people involved, the Big Green Gathering management is sadly infested with the worst type of 'radical' green types; people who have very little connection to reality, and are utterly incompetent when it comes to anything to do with organisation and keeping financial affairs in order.

These are the people who have held back the green movement and the Green Party for years, keeping it marginalised and putting off mass support where ever they go. Thankfully the Green Party seems to have finally brought these 'idiots within' under control, but the Big Green Gathering obviously has not.

Dozens of other festivals have managed to deal with difficult and expensive security and health and safety issues, but not these "activists". Their incompetence is the main reason the festival has been stopped.

I have had dealings with some of these green liars in the past. That is why I suspect the other reason the Green Gathering was stopped is that they are rude, irresponsible and have a major problem with dealing with authority.

They say they are 'anti-capitalist', but in their midst are the meanest and most exploitative, dishonest bunch of hypocrites and fools I have ever come across.

Hopefully the Big Green Gathering will survive. For a start they need to throw out both the dodgy 'radical green activists', and the dodgy right wing American billionaire. With people like that involved it is no wonder the event had to be cancelled; it was obviously dangerous.

• Seems like a lot of Big Green Gathering refugees might be going to the Isle of White to support the Vegas Wind turbine factory occupation which is trying to save 600 eco jobs. That sounds like a Green Gathering worth supporting. Full 'Vfestival' details here.

• There is a new conspiracy story being spread that Facebook has shut down the Big Green Gathering group. I do not trust Facebook an inch, but this is another lie.



• Posted on the UKhippy Forum:

Yes, over the years there has been opposition from Mendip, oiled by their Pilton millions. And there has been opposition from certain high ranking police officers, no doubt fuelled by orders from on high who are anti environmentalist events. But this is not new, it has been in place a number of years. The BGG went into the planning for 2009 with a deficit of six figures, accumulated over the years by an unwillingness amongst certain directors to face financial reality. They arranged a buy out with Stuart Galbraith and Kilimanjaro to the tune of 150K, but at the end of the day he only came up with 50. He then saw what a bunch of idealistic amateurs he was dealing with (from his perspective), stayed in until he could get his 50K back, and then did a runner, thus leaving the BGG in the cack. The police and Mendip looked at the sorry state of affairs and used the excuse of permits not being applied for within the proper time frame to close it down. Ths whole debacle is the primarily the result of a few directors being out of touch with the real world and still pretending that they were at Greenham or on Cruisewatch. If the BGG had gone into this year on a more organised financial footing, be sure that Mendip and the police would not have taken this step. How do I know this? Well, I was a director until this time last year, and I maintain regular contact with a number of company insiders. It was clear to me at the end of July last year that the writing was on the wall, but only myself and one other director (incidentally, the only two directors who were self employed and running successful businesses with good financial management, but ignored by the 'elder states people' on the board) stood up and said this. I was pooh poohed and ignored, so I walked. So yes, it was the police and Mendip, with the help of Stewarts security, but only because the whole thing was turning into a shambolic farce - IMHO.

gordon brown unplugged

Even if you don't agree with Gordon Brown on anything, I think this talk by him on TED gives a rare glimpse of the real Gordon and what makes him tick. What really stands out is Gordon Brown 'unplugged' from the constraints of the usual media sound bites he is not very good at. He covers a lot of ground, bringing in everything from the power of blogging and how to avoid being tracked by the authorities, to the desperate need to solve poverty, protect the environment and defend human rights .... and even Amy Winehouse. Relaxed and cracking a reasonable joke or two, Gordon Brown comes across as a passionate, intelligent and caring man; in fact exactly the sort of person we need as prime minister. People need to see more of this side of Gordon Brown, and he needs to stop hiding his true self. I am just worried we are going to be stuck with a shallow minded Tory snake-oil salesman for the next five years. David Cameron could never give a talk as straight from the heart as this obviously is.

gary mckinnon: dear barack

With last ditch attempts in Parliament to save Gary McKinnon sickeningly foiled by the government, a last last ditch attempt is being made to appeal for mercy by contacting Barack Obama directly. A letter is being written by the National Autistic Society, a leading charity, and the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Autism, a cross-party alliance of MPs and peers that lobbies for better support for sufferers.

Barack Obama has listened to schmoo advice in the past, hopefully he will now. Might as well try, just sent this to the main man:

Dear Barack, the Gary McKinnon case could be a lot more important to American interests than you may have been advised which is why I am contacting you direct. I know you are busy but this is important. Here is why, and it is all about the interests of the United States.

The guy is sick, it's true, he is honest, straight as a die, but the letter from the Autistic Society goes into all that. You may not realise how bad this is playing for US interests here in London. It just does not look good dragging off a sick guy for hacking, when most of the time the sites he accessed did not even have passwords, that's how slack their security was. This is not like those banker guys, they stole money right? Gary is not a criminal like them. If you drag him off it is going to play super bad. Every one is going to hate America that much more than they did already, which is often a fair bit, even with Bush gone. It will be an open sore for as long as you keep him. This could set you back, for what? To make an example? Why not catch some real hacker criminals? Then you would get most people's support, not most of a country up in arms. You do realise you will be personally blamed if the extradition goes ahead? You got a lot of personal support here right now, why blow even a bit on this?

If you listen to my advice and support Gary staying in the UK to face trial according to UK law, you will be glowing with Brit Love a bit like Nelson Mandela does. Mercy and forgiveness is political gold dust used right, you know that.

Hey! We are losing a hero a day in Afghanistan, plus many more serious casualties, and support is still strong, but it is not easy. You need to help keep that support if you can, and what does this cost you? I know you can't do everything and have to conserve your political capital and all that, but to save Gary you don't have to spend a cent; everyone will be winners except for a few lawyers. Any remaining doubts about you being one special dude will evaporate. This is an emotional thing, just press the buttons on your Blackberry for Gary, and all the glow goes your way. Yes You Can. I'll bet approval ratings of you and the United States in general go up 10% and continue upwards the moment you act. That has to be in the interests of the United States. Ok, it's your call, the buck stops with you, stay cool, schmoo in london x

pagan police could leave crooks spell bound

Usually the news about the police is bad; they are always being blamed in the press for murder, assault, fraud, drug dealing, torture and so on.

So the unusual good news that there could be up to 500 pagan police people practicing witchcraft is very welcome. The Home Office has even recognised a newly formed Pagan Police Officers Association and a Pagan Police Group UK website is currently under construction.

Hopefully we will now see more police on broom sticks which would be a lot quieter than the helicopters the normal unpagen police use to hover over the safehouse at 3am. Also interrogation techniques using the power of witch craft could leave crooks spell bound, and avoid the need to use handcuffs and expensive tazor guns on violent drunkard idiots. Over crowding in police cells could be avoided by using the famous pagan miniaturisation spell as used in 'Honey I Shrunk the Kids'.

It is especially sweet that the pagan police are being given the right to take the Summer Solstice off, and even Halloween. This will greatly annoy the evil Salvation Army who campaign every year to ban Halloween because they think it encourages children to become Satanists. However it might be better to have pagan police protecting the Summer Solstice celebrations at Stonehenge rather than Christian ones. Because of their strange twisted beliefs Christians are apt to turn evil, like they did at the Battle of the Beanfield where they violently attacked the innocent pagans without mercy.

• Here at the safehouse we support the police unreservedly which is not always as easy as they make it sound in the Daily Mail, but we manage. Britain has got a great police force, there just should be more of them, especially on the streets, and they always need better equipment and should be paid more and given more medals, better pensions and more holidays.

• Our favourite police blog Sheepdogs & Wolves has closed down mostly thanks to the Times revealing the identity of NightJack another excellent police blogger whose career has been ruined. NightJack lost an important High Court test case in which it was ruled that bloggers do not have the right to remain anonymous. Damn! Ironic how it all started with NightJack winning the Orwell Prize which is meant to encourage political writing.

homeopathic swine flu vaccine

Disclaimer: schmoo on the run accepts no responsibility for telling you about the availability of a homeopathic swine flu vaccine from Ainsworths which may or may not work, though it is more likely to work if you believe in it, on the other hand you could be just kidding yourself, but it could all be true and we don't want to be responsible for undermining the power of faith healing, so all we best say is that it is probably safer than the official vaccine, but then so is a good healthy medicinal cannabis spliff and a cup of tea.

• Ainsworths website has this disclaimer: "Ainsworths homeopathic products are without approved therapeutic indications."

postal strike: royal mail under attack

The people who decided to change the 'Royal Mail' into 'Consignia' at vast expense, only to be forced by the obvious to go back to the original, should be rotting in the Tower of London along with all their relatives and close friends. Instead they are probably enjoying a nice pension.

The management of the Royal Mail has been absolutely appalling, but managing a business with a union of morons like the Communication Workers Union (CWU) must be very difficult.

While the Royal Mail, one of the foundations of our civilization, struggles to survive, hobbled by government restrictions which allow multinational corporations with horrible anti royalist names like DHL or TNT to steal all the most profitable business, the CWU union seem hell bent on making everything worse with a series of stupid and destructive strikes. The latest 24 hour strike today could delay mail for a week or more, and there is still a back log from the last strike. Is the CWU really in the pay of DHL and TNT, or what?

The obvious solution is to require an intelligence test for all postal workers including management to weed out all the fools. About 50% of them (mostly management) will have to be offered more suitable employment; for example washing dishes, although close supervision will still be required even for that.

And now it looks like terrorists have been shooting at the Post Office on Camden High St (pictured above, click to enlarge), or maybe their target was actually the Bank of Ireland 'black hole of debt' dispensing machine.

thermometer shortage hits swine flu britain

Boots and Superdrug are making a killing thanks to swine flu; they have both sold out of thermometers. Thanks to a well intended campaign to phase out mercury thermometers which silly young children love to crunch and cost as little as £1.10 now on the high street you have to spend £7.82 at Superdrug and over £8 at Boots for a digital thermometer, just to see if you might have swine flu. But the really weird twist to this story is that the proposed new vaccine against swine flu contains mercury and could be more dangerous than swine flu itself.

israel and us practice for war with iran

• Two Israeli missile class warships have sailed through the Suez Canal ten days after a submarine capable of launching a nuclear missile strike, in preparation for a possible attack on Iran’s nuclear facilities.

• In a few days, the Israeli anti-missile Arrow system will face the first real test, weather permitting, of its ability to knock out an Iranian Shehab-3 or Sejil II ballistic missile at the outset of its flight toward Israel. The test will take place off central California's Pacific coast.

swine flu spread by holy water

Members of the mad religious cult known as Christianity have been spreading swine flu through 'Holy' water.

Cult members often put their fingers into a communal bowl of 'holy' water, make the sign of the cross and for strange superstitious reasons either touch their foreheads or even kiss their fingers, which could be the kiss of death.

Now a senior member of the cult, the Bishop of Chelmsford, has spoken out and warned of the serious heath risks associated with holy water. He says holy water should be banned.

Apparently 'holy' wine is also a risk. Members of the cult often go to residential nursing homes where they engage in a weird ritual with residents involving sharing 'holy' wine from one glass.

The whistle blowing Bishop says that if anyone has flu-like symptoms "the priest alone should drink wine from the chalice".

• 100,000 cases a day expected = 500 deaths a day?

• six young healthy australians fighting for their lives. Head of intensive care services Dr Robert Herkes stated "This is not an ordinary flu. It is hitting young, otherwise healthy people...they start with a sore throat, develop shortness of breath and within 12 to 24 hours have rapidly developed respiratory failure and are being ventilated."

• Obese people are especially at risk from swine flu (H1N1). Nine out of ten people in a US study were obese and had multiple organ failure, which can be seen in influenza, but five had blood clots in the lungs, and six had kidney failure. Three died and none have completely recovered. One third of Americans are obese.

great news of the world: dirty digger is top hacker

Exposed! Rupert Murdock's expenses included thousands of payments for illegal taps on mobile phones belonging to people all over Britain. The police are investigating.

The news of the world just gets better and better as first the criminal banks, then the corrupted (by themselves) mp's and now perhaps the vilest of them all, the Tory Porn Press, are exposed as low life criminals, cheats, and perverters of truth and justice.

This is going to be a source of excellent good news as the Porn Press eats itself. Hopefully this will also drag the likes of Tory communications chief liar Andy Coulson, and many many others, through the putrefying excrement, which in truth is these peoples natural habitat.

Already comes the good news that David Cameron is not going to immediately sack Coulson and call the police. This is excellent news as it will prolong the public shame, before the inevitable exit from public life, hopefully in handcuffs.

There could be even more good news soon as further massive corruption in the media is exposed and proves to be so all pervading and insidious that it makes the whole country revolted.

•UPDATE - Wikileaks comments: The News of the did not go far enough. Having slagged off the porn press, it is hard not to agree with Wikileaks that "the Guardian, in seeing an opportunity to attack a journalistic and a class rival, has been doing its level best to castrate British Journalism by tut-tuting in article after article about the News' alleged sourcing improprieties; A tabloid newspaper doing investigative journalism! Journalists skirting the law to expose the truth! The long suffering of British billionaires—and the Royalty! And did we mention that the News' is owned by Rupert Murdoch?— so, um.. you know, the enemy of my enemy and all that! The Guardian's coverage is disproportionate. It is moral opportunism. It is the worst kind of snobbery. It is an excuse to mention tabloid stories in a broadsheet. And it is dangerous. The result will be a publishing climate and probably legislation aimed at keeping the British public in the dark. The implicit lionization of nanny journalism by the Guardian is shameful. "

Yes, the Guardian really are a bunch of creeps, and bugging or phone tapping by the press should be done as much as possible if it is truly in the public interest, but not fishing trips to pick up tardy gossip or track some insignificant celeb for the Paparazzi.

michael jackson spotted in camden

• If Michael Jackson had stuck with weed he would probably still be alive: The King of Drugs Is Dead

7/7 memorial photographs

Above: The 7/7 memorial to the victims of the 7/7 London bombings opened today with a touching ceremony celebrating love and peace. The memorial is in Hyde Park, between Park Lane and Lovers Lane. Nearest tube Marble Arch.

gunantanamo london

Above: Harmondsworth Removals Center in West London, recently taken over by GEO, the same company that runs Guantanamo Bay.

Way back in 2006, Harmondswroth Removals Centre near Heathrow Airport, West London, was dubbed "Britain's Answer to Guantanamo Bay" by Peter Tatchell on Harry's Place.

The allusion to Guantanamo Bay was way over the top. Harmonsworth has been run like a 3 star tourist hostel in Cuba, complete with censored Internet access and bugged phones in every room, rather than a torture center or anything close.

However on 29 June Harmonsworth Removals Center became a lot more like Guantanamo Bay. Management of the facility was taken over by the private prison and concentration camp corporation GEO; the evil people who run Guantanamo Bay in Cuba.

How this atrocity has been allowed to happen on British soil is a mystery, but neither the staff or the detainees at Harmonsworth are impressed by the style of the American torture company so far:

• GEO's arrival was heralded by the removal of hot/cold water machines in the detainees dining room and the staff office. "By Order". No tea for breakfast! Don't they know this is London? Plus no cold water on what was a very hot day. The six vending machines disappeared like protesters in Iran, along with their free cold water spouts.

• Then some items in the prisoner's shop doubled their price overnight. This is a form of torture by capitalism obviously used by GEO to get round the Geneva Convention.

• Then they claimed their first GBH victim. An Indian law student was brutally beaten during an illegal deportation attempt. They came for him at night and told him he had a flight. He still had an ongoing case, but they refused to listen. So he, as was his right, struggled. He was beaten so badly that the pilot of the plane refused to take him. He came back and spent the night in hospital.

GEO's record is not good. It is not bad. "Bad" is much too light a word.

Dickens County Correctional Center in Texas is run by GEO. The prison was described last year as "the worst facility I have even seen" in a report by the Idaho Department of Correction's Health Director. And that is not a light honour. Not just bad. "Worst". And worst in a country where you really have to work hard to be worst.

Prediction: protests by detainees, possibly supported by the staff, against GEO management at Harmonsworth can be expected in the near future. One thing that may well spark it all off is the use of dogs against Muslim prisoners in Harmonsworth. This GEO did last Tuesday, and again on Wednesday.

If the Devil had enough cash, GEO would turn the whole planet into a private prison.

• Yarl's Wood IRC, London: Mothers & Fathers on Hunger Strike

sunday hymns at the safehouse

Above: 'Songs of Praise' live at the safehouse church today. Best played loud on Sundays and other holy shopping days, the summer solstice, fake anarchist meetings, michael jackson's funeral (much as we love him) etc etc

• This inspirational holy hymn is not by Saint Frank Zappa, although obviously influenced by him. It is by Steve Vai who played with Zappa and is on his Flex-Able Leftovers album. Zappa never did acid and only smoked ten joints, but you'd never believe it watching Montana, his crazy-genius dental floss song. A very sweet Zappa piece is 'Watermelon In Easter Hay'. His main ambition musically was to write orchestral music.

• The ground breaking 1979 animation for Frank Zappa's 'City of Tiny Lights' was way before 'claymation' became popular with dental floss advertisers.

iran: ahmadinejad is iran's bush, only worse

Above: George Bush and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad are the same man.

Ahmadinejad thinks Obama is the same as Bush, but this just goes to show how much like Bush he is himself; wrong most of the time.

In fact Ahmadinejad is the splitting image of Bush as the picture above proves. He is backed by a bunch of religious fanatics, so was Bush. His main supporters are bigoted, ignorant and racist 'redneck' farmers and small town losers; just like Bush. Bush was a puppet for the neo-cons, Ahmadinejad is a puppet for the neo-mullas. And now Ahmadinejad's cronies have stolen an election for him, just like a bunch of creeps did for Bush.

Ahmadinejad is 100% Iran's Bush, a perfect copy, only far worse. For example; Bush was into a wierd type of American porno torture and set up Guantanamo Bay so he could do it in private. Meanwhile Ahmadinejadbush also likes torture, but torture of the most diabolical cruelty. This type of dispicable hardcore torture is routine in Iran. The lack of even basic human rights in Iran is far worse now than even under the Shah.

Killer Bush signed about 150 execution orders; Ahmadinejad's regime has executed thousands, many of whom simply disappear.

People used to fear that Bush would declare martial law in America but he never did it (unless you count the spread of Walmarts). Ahmadinejad has established Brutal Bully Law in Iran and the main cities are currently under a 'Homeland Security' clampdown enforced by the rule of terror and an excellent example of the Power of Nightmares (as seen everyday on TV).

Bush and the neo cons were bad, and they used the power of nightmares as much as they could. Ahmadinejad and the crazy neo-mullah's do the same, but their nightmares are far far worse. At least the American neo-cons did not actually believe in the religious baloney they cynically propagated for political advantage.

Prediction: Iran will eventually become a liberal secular state, and a fantastic place to live, with a little help from the CIA no doubt, but the evil priests will not give up without a cruel and bloody fight.

• Iranian photo blog: Tehran 24

• People who support Ahmadinejad and the current Iranian regime include George Galloway; doesn't this insult to the left realise he is supporting the Iranian Bush?

amazing dance

storm

anarchists and greens help BNP facist victory

Just 900 and 5000 votes for labour could have stopped the BNP winning two seats in the European Parliament - votes wasted on the Green Party eco liars who say they can stop climate change, or thrown away by fake anarchist losers and self harmers who think they are so much more politically astute than everyone else for not voting. Then they moan at the result!

These anarchist political parasites and green goon liars are a disaster for the honest working people of Britain whose only real protection and hope for a decent future is a Labour government.

• Todays survival tip: despite the credit crunch, keeping any cats or dogs you may have is still advisable; you might need to eat them to survive if the Tories take over.

total support for gordon brown

Above: major security upgrade for schmoo safe house.

Due to the seriousness of the situation schmoo on the run has been in deep deep cover for over a month.

Hence the recent total communications blackout while submerged somewhere under the arctic ice cap ... until it melted and we almost knocked down a Russian flag stuck on the sea floor. But that is a different story.

Now, on this horrible rainy day, the chance of a Tory government is so high schmoo on the run has been forced to surface and restart the clandestine 'Schmoo Broadcasting Corporation' transmissions.

Unlike the vile traitors and saboteurs plotting against the Party and the Prime Minister we will be watching Gordon Brown's back and supporting him 100%, except on the post office, trident, class b cannabis and a load of other things including nose picking in public, but he is still the best man for the job by far (except for Tony Blair of course).

We are doing this in the national interest when we could easily make much more money dealing drugs or running a perfectly legal licensed extortion racket such as a bank, super market or estate agents. We are doing this despite the risk of being tracked down and wasting yet more time explaining the accounts, when there is so much important work to do, especially work on the bunker.

Up to now the top priorities have been preparing for a cruise missile or Apache helicopter attack on the Safe House by terrorists, building defences against being over run by a credit crunch crazed mob, and trying to avoid a sneeky biological attack such as giraffe flu.

The Safe House has therefore had a major security upgrade and is now completely invisible.

The beauty of this is that planning permission is not required from the utterly corrupt Westminster Tory Council for the remote controlled minefield in front of the building, or the invisible anti tank defences inspired by Stonehenge.

To avoid any possible charges of impropriety or even criminality, community charges for the Safe House will continue to be paid despite being invisible and therefore not actually liable according to the obviously inadequate rules.

Likewise the two valid TV licenses for the Safe House (only one is required but we support the BBC) will continue to be displayed in their frames next to our portrait of the Queen.

Due to huge cost of the ongoing security upgrade the Safe House rice and beans ration has been cut in half, and weed by an eighth.

Further stringent cut backs will be required to cover the mortgage payments for the essential new national defence sauna extension in the one mile deep multiple nuclear attack proof bunker.

credit card song by old man pie

• Jobhunterblog.com

police save london from negative vibes

Despite the obvious danger from violent agent provocateurs, schmoo broke cover when it got dark to check out the eco-nazi fluffies at the Climate Change Camp down at Bishopsgate. As you might expect from eco-nazi's who want to force everyone back to the Middle Ages, there was a lot of police, a nasty smell of Crusties, and a lot of litter and pollution.

The most dangerous incident was when an climate camp changeling in full crustie uniform came round offering free MacDonald's Burgers. A mass poisoning attempt was the last thing we expected at a Climate Change Camp. Will these fundamentalists do anything to further their cause, including Suicide Food distribution which they can then blame on capitalism???

Thankfully not a single person would accept the toxic offering. On reflection this was almost certainly an agent provocateur at work, probably CIA as she had an American accent.

Meanwhile the police were doing a brilliant job. We noticed some police down an ally were furtively guarding an obviously unconscious man stretched out on the ground. Why were they hiding him down an ally way? Was he a dead demonstrator murdered by the 'Pigs'? Was this part of a massive cover up to prevent Britain turning into Greece Two? We hid in the shadows and watched. After a while the man stirred, stood up, tottered a few steps and then fell down again, he was definitely dead .... dead drunk that is.



































• One man did die during the demo at the Bank of England, but this was not the fault of the police; we blame the Evening Standard for organising the event. Of course the serial liars at Indimedia are trying to imply it was all the police's fault. The sick thing is they are loving it that someone has died, and are now trying to make political capital out of the tragedy. They are worse than David Cameron. The fake anarchists would love it if they could turn Britain into a massive ever lasting riot, although all they could accomplish was to break a few windows, and make themselves look like prats on national TV. Meanwhile most reports including the BBC say the man was hit by bottles thrown by demonstrators. Another witnesses said when police tried to help the man they were attacked with missiles until members of the crowd threatened to kill the attackers. A charming group of people indeed. There will be an Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC) inquiry into the death.

• UPDATE: Indymedia is squealing that Ramparts and another idiot convergence center has been raided by police, presumably looking for CCTV Stars from yesterdays stupidity. Don't they know it is illegal to be violent morons, even if they do have a good cause.

obama's helicopters rattle london windows

Above: schmoo's flying safe house; the Hotelicopter.

ALL the windows in the schmoo safe house in central London rattled today as Barack Obama flew over head in the massive 'Marine One' helicopter on the way to 'crash out' at the luxury American squat in Regents Park.

For a while there was a constant clatter of whirling beasts as the air above London literally buzzed with helicopters. This was because of a sophisticated American plan to use decoy helicopters, and avoid paying the London congestion charge.

As our main man Obama obviously enjoys helicopters, and has freely admitted to thinking flying in Air Force One is really cool, which it obviously must be, Obama is welcome to come hang out over London in our flying safe house any time. With our civil liberties under attack from every direction, this is one of the few legal ways to get high left.

jacqui smith: zanussi crisis looms

There is absolutely no sympathy for Jacqui Smith here at the safe house. She is the worst ever Home Porn Secretary since the last one. Her crimes against humanity include being responsible for increasing penalties for possession of cannabis against all the expert health advice, and refusing to release Ronnie Biggs, which should be added to the serious benefit fraud charges against her. Hopefully her husband has also been smoking spliffs while watching porn, he looks the type and deserves a break.

However things are going to get even worse for Jacqui Smith, even though it is hard to see how anyone could get much lower than claiming 88p for a bath plug.

the system: easy wash, easy fail

The bad news for Jacqui is she brought a Zanussi washing machine. They are absolute crap. In about 2-3 years the Zanussi will stop working because the electronic push button panel fails and then the whole machine is useless. They should have told her at John Lewis, because they know all about it even though they still sell them. The Zanussi washing machine costs £300 and replacing the button panel costs £295 including labour. So Jacqui, or her husband, if she still has one by then, will have to do her washing in the bath, because by 2011 or so all the washing machine manufacturers will have been taken over by the anarchists, so there won't be any washing machines available anymore, except for top anarchists of course.

But maybe Jacqui knows all this because the greedy woman appears to be claiming for two washing machines. Or is that what they all do?

• consumer advice: avoid push button electronic panels on washing machines, they always fail. Go for dial systems and your washing machine could last until the end of civilization (five year guarantee).

diy stonehenge building technique

With the G20 meeting just days away, last minute preparations for the end of capitalism as we owed it continue at the safe house somewhere in central London. We are using the Wally Wallington DIY Stonehenge building technique [video above] for our anti tank defences, as judging by the media hysteria, the Army is sure to riot at some point.

• Anarchy Back in the UK
• The Age of Rage
• The Observer
• The Masks of Anarchists
• Passionate Anarchist Meeting Bugged (audio)
• Close the Banks - this is one debt we owe ourselves.

put people first march flops

They were marching today in London supposedly to 'Put People First' [above], but despite claims of up to 150,000 people on liar sites like indymedia, the people did not turn up. The marchers pictured above were the most organised crew - and they were from Belgium! The march was an embarrassing flop supported by perhaps two thousand people at the most, when up to 80,000 were expected. There were almost more people waiting for a bus [below] than on the straggly protest, which seemed to be more about selling Socialist Worker than anything else. As most people know, Socialist Worker is run by M15 to discredit the Left, and make people vote Boring.





















Later a few more people turned up well late to hear a load of crap speeches from small minds in the freezing cold like the total masochists they must be. The Independent says 35,000 ... or is that how few readers they have now? What a waste of time. The left in Britain is virtually extinct, and what is left is now almost as stupid as the right, and just as capable of totalitarianism - and total lies.

shit for fake anarchists

Next on the agenda [April 1/2] are some fake "anarchists", mostly government dole recipients, who are being massively promoted by the Evening Standard. They are being led down the garden path to nowhere by idiots like 'anarchist' Professor Chris Knight. He has publicly supported the plan to string up effigies of bankers from lamp posts. This sounds more like what fascists would do than anarchists. Chris Knight later gave a very weak defence after he was justifiably suspended from teaching young people. Security at the safe house will be at maximum alert this week; if any anarcho-fascist lynch mobbers try to use our street's lamp posts for executions they will find themselves covered in real human shit (to go with themselves).

• The police are to use 50,000 volt tazor guns on violent trouble makers at the G20 demos. This might seem like good news, but if they kill someone it will be the excuse for every petty crook and shop looter and a lot of very pissed off credit crunched shopaholics to go on a massive rampage like they did in Greece - then we will need an IMF Bailout for sure.

UPDATE: The 35,000 figure being quoted by the Independent and other media whore organisations comes from the police who in most cases correctly estimate less than the often self deluding or just plain dishonest organisers of demos. In this case it seems the police felt they had to put out a higher number to justify the massive cost of policing the event to the public. Usually demo organisers dispute the police estimates - but in this rare case there has not been a murmur of dissent at the massive over estimate of numbers officially put out to the press.

jade: hello, ok, goodbye

• Jade is innocent ok