There is absolutely no sympathy for Jacqui Smith here at the safe house. She is the worst ever Home Porn Secretary since the last one. Her crimes against humanity include being responsible for increasing penalties for possession of cannabis against all the expert health advice, and refusing to release Ronnie Biggs, which should be added to the serious benefit fraud charges against her. Hopefully her husband has also been smoking spliffs while watching porn, he looks the type and deserves a break.
However things are going to get even worse for Jacqui Smith, even though it is hard to see how anyone could get much lower than claiming 88p for a bath plug.
the system: easy wash, easy fail
The bad news for Jacqui is she brought a Zanussi washing machine. They are absolute crap. In about 2-3 years the Zanussi will stop working because the electronic push button panel fails and then the whole machine is useless. They should have told her at John Lewis, because they know all about it even though they still sell them. The Zanussi washing machine costs £300 and replacing the button panel costs £295 including labour. So Jacqui, or her husband, if she still has one by then, will have to do her washing in the bath, because by 2011 or so all the washing machine manufacturers will have been taken over by the anarchists, so there won't be any washing machines available anymore, except for top anarchists of course.
But maybe Jacqui knows all this because the greedy woman appears to be claiming for two washing machines. Or is that what they all do?
• consumer advice: avoid push button electronic panels on washing machines, they always fail. Go for dial systems and your washing machine could last until the end of civilization (five year guarantee).
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