total support for gordon brown

Above: major security upgrade for schmoo safe house.

Due to the seriousness of the situation schmoo on the run has been in deep deep cover for over a month.

Hence the recent total communications blackout while submerged somewhere under the arctic ice cap ... until it melted and we almost knocked down a Russian flag stuck on the sea floor. But that is a different story.

Now, on this horrible rainy day, the chance of a Tory government is so high schmoo on the run has been forced to surface and restart the clandestine 'Schmoo Broadcasting Corporation' transmissions.

Unlike the vile traitors and saboteurs plotting against the Party and the Prime Minister we will be watching Gordon Brown's back and supporting him 100%, except on the post office, trident, class b cannabis and a load of other things including nose picking in public, but he is still the best man for the job by far (except for Tony Blair of course).

We are doing this in the national interest when we could easily make much more money dealing drugs or running a perfectly legal licensed extortion racket such as a bank, super market or estate agents. We are doing this despite the risk of being tracked down and wasting yet more time explaining the accounts, when there is so much important work to do, especially work on the bunker.

Up to now the top priorities have been preparing for a cruise missile or Apache helicopter attack on the Safe House by terrorists, building defences against being over run by a credit crunch crazed mob, and trying to avoid a sneeky biological attack such as giraffe flu.

The Safe House has therefore had a major security upgrade and is now completely invisible.

The beauty of this is that planning permission is not required from the utterly corrupt Westminster Tory Council for the remote controlled minefield in front of the building, or the invisible anti tank defences inspired by Stonehenge.

To avoid any possible charges of impropriety or even criminality, community charges for the Safe House will continue to be paid despite being invisible and therefore not actually liable according to the obviously inadequate rules.

Likewise the two valid TV licenses for the Safe House (only one is required but we support the BBC) will continue to be displayed in their frames next to our portrait of the Queen.

Due to huge cost of the ongoing security upgrade the Safe House rice and beans ration has been cut in half, and weed by an eighth.

Further stringent cut backs will be required to cover the mortgage payments for the essential new national defence sauna extension in the one mile deep multiple nuclear attack proof bunker.