prophecy 2008: 'global consumer equality'

Above: old track to near future

The dream: With nuclear fusion developed to provide almost free and limitless energy, huge medical/scientific advances, and 'Global Consumer Equality' giving everyone on the planet a basic income, plus housing, education, and heath care, the relatively near future could be incredible:

• Poverty, disease, cold baths, car accidents and even bad TV reception will be a thing of the past. Everyone on the planet will have more than enough money to survive, automatically paid into a bank account every week.

• Life expectancy will be massively increased - some people alive now could live to 300 years old or more. The downside is this may include Bin Laden, Cliff Richard, George Bush, Chavez and even Fidel Castro. They all put on a good show in their time, but in 2008 they are pretty dated; imagine after 300 years?

• 'Space Lifts' will link humanity physically with the universe, allowing cheap import and export of everything from sex slaves, illegal drugs and bibles, to weapons of mass destruction, and blood diamonds from Mars.

• Google's 'FutureSearch' software with allows users to search and edit the future is banned. Then it is unbanned, then it is banned, then it is un banned, and so on for ever.

• A massive prison will be built on the Dark Side of the Moon (originally to replace Guantanamo Bay), but eventually gets turned into a Zen monastery as part of a money laundering scam by President George W. Bush Junior Junior Junior.

• 'Babytooth' computer technology will allow bored babies in the womb waiting to be born to go on-line to play games, chat with their parents, get to know their relatives, open a bank account, shop for toys, and webcam with other other 'pre-birthers'.

• Super strength 'Space Skunk' cannabis will be grown in massive 'grow room' satellites orbiting earth, and will be used extensively especially by politicians, and bored airline pilots.

• There will be a mass market in illegal microchips which people connect to their brains to produce 24/48/64 hour pre programmed 'trips' while they lie unconscious in darkened rooms connected to drip feeds. 'Class A' chips will include the horribly realistic 84 hour 'suicide' trip.

• Using human language recognition software dolphins will be given gainful employment as 'call center' operators, using dolphin technology radio links. Later it will be discovered that dolphins have especially good software programming abilities leading to a rewrite of Winmac v 2060 enabling verbal communication with all pets including tortoises and spiders, who take over the call center industry.

• Food machines will produce any dish within half an hour by manipulating molecules taken from garden earth. Early models will require several kilos of earth to be deposited in the machine each day to feed a family. These will be superseded by 'molecule growers' known as 'Tescos', which require no deposits what so ever (except payment deposits). Hacked' versions will be used to create illegal drugs and banned weapons. Eventually 'Tescos' will produce clothing and any required consumer product. Industrial versions will build huge buildings or even bridges in a very short time, and will also be used to build space stations and cities on Mars.

• Eventually humanity hooks up with a nomadic alien intellegent which loves any kind of work humans find boring, plus eating black bags full of domestic rubbish, toxic waste and old bits of plastic; everyone lives happy for ever after.

Everything can be all right. The future could be great.