tories hide loans: watch out there are pickpockets in the area

ANY idea that members of the 'Tory Sleaze Gang' have been reformed by their time in Brixton jail were dashed today when it was announced that they have 'laundered' the identity of several 'Mr Bigs' who have contributed to a secret slush fund of £5 million pounds.

They are using a technical accounting trick commonly used in the criminal underworld (otherwise known as the 'City'); 'bullshitting'.

The Tory Toffs are desperate to avoid telling the British public which 'war lords' are funding their plan to get away with the biggest robbery in British history: winning the next general election.

In the past few days, working round the clock, they have been maxing out every credit card available to them. Despite a full scale Scotland Yard investigation of their isolated farm in Notting Hill, the Sleaze Gang have managed to repay the £5 million.

Now, according to a legal technicality they do not have to tell the British Public who gave it to them in the first place.

Under BBC interrogation today, Tory front man 'Francis Maude admitted that the secret lenders could be foreign backers.

He was asked "Why would someone who does not live or vote in this country want to give you money? He denied any corruption: People who have backed us have backed us out of conviction."

schmoo says: Yeah - the 'conviction' that they would get preferential treatment from Notting Hill war Lord 'bin camercon' for every shady deal to rip off the British tax payer they can come up with.

• Further evidence that the Tory Gang are back comes in the latest Sunday Times (March 26th) which reveals how since David Cameron took over, the Tories have accepted £100,000 from the wife of a foreign arms dealer, Wafic Said, who is barred from making political donations in Britain.

Said was involved in a massive multi-billion arms deal between Britain and Saudia Arabia which also involved Mark Thatcher - and was signed by his mother the then Prime Minister the 'punk tory gang leader' Maggie Thatcher.

Said was a regular doner of cash to the Tories, but made so much money that he 'had' to become a tax exile, and then foreign gifts were banned.

To get round this annoying ban, his wife 'bids' at fundraising 'auctions'. Last month Mrs Said bid £100,000 for a 'fun' eight person dinner at which Nicholas Soames, the former shadow defence minister, and Boris Johnson, current higher education spokesman are to be 'wine waiters'. According to the Sunday Times over £550,000 has been donated in this way by the Saids, but none of it has been declared.

Yet another example of how David Cameron is putting the 'con' back in the Conservative Party.

Meanwhile the Labour Party has revealed EVERY SINGLE donna (kebab) that Tony Blair has ever received.

ID cards: my name is wally smith

ID cards - good if you can fake them. The thin edge of the wedge: by the time it is compulsory to have a card, it will probably be compulsory to have a micro chip in your brain.

blair baiting escalates: prime minister on media terrorists 'hit' list

Animal Liberation activists are voicing concern as close to extinct British Prime Minister Tony Blair is hunted without mercy 'on the run' somewhere in Australia. Terrorists from the 'Evening Standard' and suicide reporters from the 'Daily Mail' with links to evil Tory mastermind 'bin camercon', who operates from a cave somewhere in London's lawless Notting Hill 'zone 2' millionaries area, say they have an inalienable right to hunt and kill the Prime Minister, his family, his friends, friends of his friends, and anyone who owes him a favour.

• Meanwhile the 'National Farmers Supermarket Union' is backing a cull of 'labour badgers' who are known to carry the deadly 'community charge increase' virus which could spread to extra fuel taxes for Land Rovers and other 'essential' 4 wheel drive vehicles.

climate change crisis: schmoo demands three day week

The problem is hypocracy: the answer is bicyles and putting the western world on a three day week.

hands off Kate Moss and Pete Doherty: they need ibogaine

Above: Kate Moss looking worried

Open Letter to Kate Moss and Pete From schmoo:

Dear Kate Moss and Pete Doherty,

Here at the schmoo 'safe house' we have enjoyed an occasional line of cocaine (like last christmas) so we know it is absolute crap; 'Gods way of saying you have too much money". You both have got a serious problem; you don't need coke, you need ibogaine, it could save you millions! You obviously like your drugs - presumably you have done acid or mushrooms? Well ibogaine is the most powerful psychedelic known to hippies - and there is an added bonus; taking ibogaine has been proved to interrupt addiction to heroin, crack cocaine, booze and nicotine. It can even stops addiction to East Enders! Forget wasting your cash at the Priory Clinic - google 'ibogaine' and get yourselves to Slovenia or Gabon in Africa - or contact us now (we know where you can have a guided trip/addiction breaking 'spiritual' experience)!

Condoleeza Rice UK visit: 'Stop the War Coalition' thugs threaten moderate muslims with no respect

'Stop the War' Coalition threats to 'invade' the Blackburn mosque at 6am this coming Saturday have caused the trustees of the mosque to cancel a planned visit.

The fact that their threat to invade the mosque is precisely the sort of thing they complain that iraq invasion supporter Condalissa Rice does is of course lost on the 'peace' campaigners. schmoo is no Rice fan (except for eating), but at least she has the honesty to 'come out' as an invading killer-locust, rather than pretend to be a peace campaigner.

A trustee of the mosque (Allah Be Praised) speaking on the BBC's 'PM' radio news program today said he was "disappointed, frustrated, angry" that they were forced to cancel the visit by Coalition thugs. Apparently the George Galloway inspired bullies attended a meeting on Tuesday and made it clear that they intended to invade the mosque on Saturday morning if the visit was not cancelled. Naturally the opinion of the people using the mosque did not count.

Moderate muslims had hoped to use the visit to counter 'islamophobia' which is a mental problem effecting 'Sun' readers and christians who attend 'Tescos' on Sunday more often than their churches. The mental condition threatens to become a 'pandemic' in Britain thanks to the activities of fundamentalist extremists who have been purposely spreading the virus on the internet.

The 'Stop the War Coalition' thugs are claiming that the visit by Rice was an insult to muslims - what they do not admit is that they have no respect for any religion except their own; Trotskyism.

They say the cancellation of Rice's visit is a 'historic decision' - and they are right. Nothing since the 9/11 and 7/7 attacks will spread the 'Islamophobia' virus more than this decision, caused by the bullying tactics of a bunch of sanctimonious fools who by their threats have proved they have no respect for Islam, Muslims or holy places. Hopefully historians will not be saying in the future that this was the begining of the civil war in Britain.

• schmoo has just received a totally self congratulatory email from the 'Stop the War Coalition' saying they are going to have a 'Con-ference' on Saturday 10 June at Friends House, Euston Road, London. What a waste of time that will be.

global marijuana march 2006: 190 cities march to end cannabis prohibition

Above: 'global marijuana march 2006' poster, shipping worldwide now from www.cures-not-wars.org

DESPITE every effort by DEA/MI5/Green Party/Nazi/ and so called 'Anarchist' infiltrators, plus social workers, corrupt schizophrenic psychiatrists, double agents, double crossers and informers, not to mention cocaine/ heroin dealers in London, New York and Kabul, plus CIA agents, internet censors in China, and the President of the United States (even though he's a toker), the 'Global Marijuana March' goes ahead this year with 189 cities confirmed (so far) as planning some kind of 'Fuck the Fucking Stupid Fucking 'Prohibition' Fucking Laws, I may Fucking want to Fucking Get Fucking High on Fucking Weed, FUCK You if you don't Fucking Like It' event. (If you don't like the slogan, don't blame the organisers, blame 'fucking' schmoo). Watch this space, plus get in the loop at : www.cures-not-wars.org and Cannabis Culture and www.globalmarijuanamarch.com

• Also keep taps on 'News of the Weed' which is back after extended 'holiday'.

coming soon: a date with iran

Watch this space (and get your emergency supplies in now).

babies for justice:"behead deadbeat dads"

Above: Birgit Cunningham organiser of 'Babies For Justice' and her son Jack.

Birgit tested 'freedom of expression' to the limit outside No 10 Downing Street last Saturday protesting against the Child Support Agency. She produced a placard saying 'Behead Deadbeat Dads' hoping the police would arrest her and get her publicity for her 'help pay for the nappies' campaign.

She told the Evening Standard the plan did not work because:

"the police just laughed... The police asked me what we would do if Fathers For Justice turned up to attack us and I said we all had perfume to spray them with so they would face awkward questions from their girlfriends."

Apparently she is no stranger to the 'fluffy' protest style - she also once worked for the Green Party on £40,000 a year and splattered a chocolate eclaire in the face of the then Agricultural Minister, Nick Brown, to protest about the Government's lack of interest in farming. Hopefully 'Babies for Justice' does a bit better than the Green Party.

schmoo is also wondering if 'Babies For Justice' includes justice for the couple of million babies dying of thirst in Africa right now? The 'G8' T shirt (pictured above) does not necessary mean anything.

Birgit is currently pursuing Harry Nuttall, the father of her son Jack through the courts - apparently he dumped her after falling in love with Dalit Cohen, an ex-girlfriend of tycoon Robert Maxwell's son, Ian. It could be nasty!

The Babies For Justice website points out:

"Many mothers and fathers have been sorely let down by the overwhelming incompetence of the CSA (Child Support Agency). Some parents are receiving little to no maintenance whatsoever and are living in poverty. Many fathers are being charged more money than they even earn, while hundreds of fathers (in most cases) are exploiting the many loop holes available to them to avoid accurate assessments".

schmoo investigates further: Known as the "riches to rags 'it' girl" Birgit is a former lover of Kevin Costner, and flatmate of Elizabeth Hurley, who knew Princess Diana. She went from living the 'Life of Riley' to being a single mum living on benifits - but she says she has never been happier.

She told the Daily Mail:

"I was educated at Roedean, Princess Anne's old school, before attending Rutgers College, one of the most prestigious universities in the U.S., where I studied History of Art. At 22 I got a job in an art gallery. It paid peanuts, but that didn't matter. Daddy gave me a £2,000 monthly allowance - which I spent within days on clothes and partying. In 1987, I returned to London where Daddy got me a job as a stockbroker and bought me a £1 million flat in Chelsea. Life was sweet".

"Now, I know there are more important things in life - namely dignity and self-respect. Of course, there are times when I feel angry. In Woolworths the other day Jack wanted a Star Wars toy. It was £6. I only had £5 in my pocket. When I refused, he cried hysterically. However, if I can teach my son one lesson it's that material possessions don't bring happiness. Nor do they make you a good person - and I should know".

Babies for Justice are collecting case studies, so if you want to behead a dead beat dad - email them: info@babiesforjustice.co.uk

* The Fathers For Justice campaign was officially disbanded after a crazy plot was revealed to kidnap Tony Blairs son. Its members made their cause famous by dressing up in 'Super Hero' outfits to do publicity seeking stunts.

If they were around now, they'd be advised to swap their 'super hero' body suits for nappies.

bird flu: virus mutates

The bird flu virus has mutated into two slightly different strains which doubles the chance of it mutating again to create a pandemic - but DON'T PANIC - thats what has just made Donald Rumsfeld at least $5 million from selling shares in the biotechnology firm that developed 'Tamiflu' which most experts agree is usless but is being purchased by governemts all over the world, including the British governemt, so they can look as if they are doing something.schmoo has created a 'bird flu' resource page with links to useful information and several specialised blogs. We will be keeping it updated - plus watch this space. Don't panic ... but be prepared.

blogs worth watching: Guido Fawkes gets Margaret Beckett good

Guido Fawkes is too good! Now he's come up with another 'exclusive'; somehow he has dug up details of a 'blind trust' set up years ago by Margaret Beckett which he claims was designed to finance her leadership ambitions. He is demanding she name the people who gave her cash - fair point as she's been demanding the same from David Cameron and defending Tessa Jowell. The thing about 'Guido Fawkes' is he keeps on coming up with stuff you'd normally require the facilities of a major intelligence service to get! For example some how he dug up an old Simon Hughs flyer from years ago that pretty much put paid to his Liberal Party leadership campaign. Is he being fed information by some kind of dirty tricks department? You decide. Either way he is one of the best informed bloggers covering low life goings on in Parliament on the net. Today he's on to the bungling Prescott. We can 'exclusively' reveal Guido Fawkes was recently advertising knickers from Marks and Spencers, but the ad has 'mysteriously' disappeared to be replaced by one from Ann Summers! Definitely on the schmoo watch list.

'general strike': self harmers down razor blades

Above: 'old left' fellow travelers cling to their status quo, as their political hulk slowly sinks.

The Left is Dead! Long Live the Left! Today there is the biggest 'general strike' in Britain since the 1930's but don't expect much. It is not about saving the planet or ending the ongoing poverty and mass starvation of billions worldwide, it is not about preventing the looming World War 3. It's about pensions for civil servants. How radical! They want more tax payers money invested in oil companies and arm traders. They will be lucky if civilisation lasts long enouph to pay any pensions at all, much less more. Who will suffer in this strike? Dole claiments, school children - and pensioners!

Meanwhile as the 'General Strike' goes ahead in Britain the 'radical' students in France are hardly Paris '68. Instead of calling for change or being sensibly situationist about things, their demands to end the new 'First Job Contract' (CPE) amount to a demand that things stay exactly the same! They are actually campaigning to keep the status quo, which in France ensures that jobs for young people are few and far between. More self harmers.

To make matters even more depressing for anyone with a progrssive cell in their brains, the French rioters are hardly anarchist freedom fighters - they are members of the under-locust-class who are upset because no one will give them a credit card, and are out to loot as many consumer goods as they can - and rob the 'rich' students. What a situation; what a sad sorry spectacular spectacle.

History of the Left: So 'left' they are backwards.

The 'progressive' left in Britain, of which the unions are meant to be a part, has been a slowly sinking ship for years and almost does not exist anymore, mostly due to self inflicted wounds. Yet more self harmers! Self marginilisers, united in their masochism, their addiction to failure. The left urgently needs serious therapy and saving before it slashes itself to ribbons and becomes the most conservative and reactionary force in British politics!

The Socialist Workers Party did a great job in the 1960's, 70's, 80's & 90's alienating almost everyone from progressive politics, and helping their Militant friends in the Labour Party ensure we had 18 years of Thatcherism.

The Greens looked good for about 5 seconds, but their failure though utter ineptitude has been the biggest environmental disaster in British History. They are held back in the politics of the 1970's by funamentalist, orthordox sandle wearers (with socks!), who think saving the planet means not washing, being rude about Anita Rodderick of the Body Shop (they are so radical!), living on the dole, and recycling old slogans. In the last general election they used an utterly inefficient diesel gusseling double decker bus, and were filmed by the BBC's 'News Night' parking it - in a disabled drivers parking space!

The so called 'anarchists' (just pretending) also managed to blow everything (but thankfully not blow it up), by falling for the 'News of The World' definition of anarchy, and trying (not very well) to act out this fantasy (an aberration of what true anarchism is), on the long suffering streets of London. They quickly squandered what little support they had by performing the 'News of the World' script in their 'Mayday' travesty of an anti capitalist action, which succeeded brilliantly in putting off nearly everyone in the country. Their last effort at the 'G8' conference in Scotland finished off any respect anyone had for them. Now all they can muster is a few brew crew, a couple of Ketamine casualties, and half a dozen informers.

We have also had to suffer the inept posturing of the 'Anti War Coalition' which started off bad and went down hill from there. The 'Coalition' was about as real as George Bush's 'Coalition' and was quickly taken over by the SWP (or are they MI5?), and unpleasant bullies like the stalinist cigar smoking George Galloway who made an unholy alliance with the Muslim equivalent of the Christian facist 'Moral Majority'. Their support gets less with every march they do; the latest may have had ten thousand people. That was mostly people from the Midlands taking advantage of a cheap bus ticket to do some shopping in Oxford Street. As for helping the Iraqi people? All they have done is make things worse - pretty much like George Bush!

Now the Tories look more radical (and effective) than most of the left. How sick is that?

We need an effective left now, before all is lost, before spring is extinct.

freedom of expression rally: where there is smoke there is fire

The Freedom of Expression Rally happened on Saturday without a 'clash of civilization', or any racist riots - mainly because it was not a racist event despite all the pre advertising by various provocateurs who did their best to disrupt the event - and failed.


Freedom is a fountain!

Above & Below: Human rights campaigner Peter Tatchell had the guts to speak at the Freedom of Expression Rally in London on Saturday. Pity all the prohibitionists on the so called 'left' failed to show. This was not surprising as Stalinists and SWP types have never supported freedom of expression. The real obscenity was the absence of any of the people who loudly claim to be 'anarchists'. They have turned into prohibitionists as well! Why? Because they are not really anarchists; most of them take money from the government (some as informers) and live on the dole. Most of them support laws against fox hunting! Most of them will be working as civil servants in a few years, if not already. 'Anarchists', 'Anarchists' everywhere, but not a soul that thinks. The Left is dead. Long Live the Left!

When some people tried to open a bookshop called 'Properganda' featuring properganda from all sections of the political spectrum, left, right and lunatic - it was the left who refused to take part. What a shame. The left is dead, long live the left!

The Freedom of Expression rally was not racist in any way (although there were certainly a few there). However anyone who thinks that criticizing any aspect of Islamic theology is racist - is a racist! Islam (which means Peace), is for all races, not just 'Arabs' or 'foreigners'; that is why Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world! Allah Be Praised! All races, all religions including followers of the Atheist religion, and the Anarchist religion have a right to freedom of expression, not just the 'chosen ones'.

Most muslims could not give a damn about a few stupid cartoons, but they do care about being denied a voice and they deserve freedom of expression like everyone else.

Below: British Nationalist free speech is alive and well, living next to a whore house in Soho. Still we are all here because of sex (well almost all), and let Mary Whitehouse go on writhing in her grave..

Below: Of course there were a couple of nutters there - what do you expect at a 'freedom of expression' rally. Weird how the 'Thought Police' don't mind holocaust denial, but jumped on a guy carrying an effigy of Blair with a swastika round his neck!

Below: "Bananas! Bananas! Any one want some big, fat, wobbely bananas" - stall holder in Berwick Street.

freedom of expression march: peter tatchell for prime minister

NO ONE has said it better than Peter Tatchell. He almost makes schmoo want to support the Green Party again! He makes the appeasers with censorship who have been slagging him off at indymedia and urban75 (so called 'left' sites populated mostly by totalitarianists and Taliban groupies) look very small minded indeed:

WHY I SUPPORT FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION by Peter Tatchell

Free speech is under attack and needs defending.

Saturday 25 March 2006: Freedom of Expression Rally: 2pm Trafalgar Square, London

"The strength and survival of free society and the advance of human knowledge depend on the free exchange of ideas. All ideas are capable of giving offence, and some of the most powerful ideas in human history, such as those of Galileo and Darwin, have given profound religious offence in their time. The free exchange of ideas depends on freedom of expression and this includes the right to criticise and mock. We assert and uphold the right of freedom of expression and call on our elected representatives to do the same. We abhor the fact that people throughout the world live under mortal threat simply for expressing ideas and we call on our elected representatives to protect them from attack and not to give comfort to the forces of intolerance that besiege them."

This is the statement of principle that Saturday's freedom of expression rally has been called to defend. How can anyone disagree with these progressive values? I can't, and that is why I will be joining the thousands in Trafalgar Square.

The rally is backed mostly by secular, humanist and libertarian groups, but with support from some left-wingers and liberal Muslims too.

Some of my friends on the left are refusing to take part. Preferring to remain pure and marginal, they object to the involvement of right-wing groups like the Libertarian Alliance and the Freedom Association. I share their distaste for these groups. But my participation on Saturday is based on supporting the statement of principle, not on who else is taking part. I will not let the dubious politics of some other participants dissuade me from supporting what are important, progressive humanitarian values.

Sections of the left moan that the rally is being supported the right. Well, if soci ali sts object so strongly why don't they organise their own demo in support of free speech?

The truth is that some of the left would rarely, if ever, rally to defend freedom of expression because they don't wholeheartedly believe in it. Mired in the immoral morass of cultural relativism, they no longer endorse Enlightenment values and universal human rights. Their perverse misinterpretation of multicultur ali sm results in equivocation and ambiguity on the right to free speech. They shamelessly defer to oppressive religious and cultural norms in the name of respecting diversity; betraying the victims of oppression in the process. This muddled left has lost its ethical compass. Any genuine support for free speech is now qu ali fied with so many ifs and buts that it is seriously, perhaps fatally, compromised.

As a radical left-wing Green, committed to human rights and social justice, I do not share the politics of some other speakers and rallyists. But this is the whole point of Saturdays' demo – to defend the free speech of those with whom we disagree.

While I support the right of newspapers to publish cartoons satirising any religious or atheist leader, there are bigger, more important free speech issues to fight.

When I speak in Trafalgar Square on Saturday, I will defend Muslim communities against prejudice and discrimination, attack the BNP and the war on terror, and condemn the government's erosion of civil liberties and individual freedom.

My speech will also assert the right to condemn British troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, urge less state secrecy and more freedom of information, and call for the disestablishment of the Church of England and the freedom to insult the Queen, Prime Minister and Archbishop of Canterbury.

When it comes to free speech, I am an equal opportunities free speecher. I even defend the right of others to mock and ridicule me. I may not like it. It might be unfair. But that's democracy.

Some critics are mischievously portraying Saturday's protest as an anti-Muslim rally. I condemn unreservedly any attempt to demonise or scapegoat my Muslim brothers and sisters. I also reject the suggestion of a clash of civilisations.

Both fundamentalists and progressives can be found in all faiths, politics, ethnicities and cultures. No society has a monopoly of enlightenment and plurality. Muslim societies like Bangladesh have produced Enlightenment icons like the feminist writer Taslima Nasreen; while supposedly cultured nations like Britain and France have spawned the Dark Ages ignorance of the British National Party and the Front National.

When considering the vexed question of the limits to free speech, perhaps we should start with first principles:

Article 19 of the UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights states that: “Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression.”

By this standard, freedom of expression is a fundamental human right for every person on this planet. It is a right for all, not some. If we expect free speech for ourselves, then we are duty bound to ensure that it also exists for others.

Contrary to what the cultural relativists try to suggest, freedom of expression is not a western value; it is a universal humanitarian value that every member state of the United Nations has pledged to uphold. By demanding the right to free speech, we are not seeking to impose western values on non-western nations. We are merely asking the governments of the world to honour the human rights commitments they agreed when they signed up to the UN.

Free speech is one of the litmus tests of a free and democratic society. Alas, not everyone shares a commitment to democracy. To maintain their power, political and religious tyrants have always censored ideas and opinions. Some liberals and left-wingers, often with the honourable motive of tackling prejudice, have also attempted to place constraints on what can be publicly said on issues such as race and sexuality. This authoritarianism lite has its downside too. Suppressing intolerant ideas doesn't make them go away. They just go underground and fester. This is not a solution.

While many people of faith have been recently up-in-arms over cartoons, plays and operas they find offensive, ironically it is the free expression they oppose that is the precondition for genuine political and religious freedom. It is in the interests of people of all political and religious beliefs - and of none - to defend freedom of expression. By defending the freedom of others we are also defending our own freedom.

The right to free speech is the surest guarantor of religious freedom. Without freedom of expression, religious minorities tend to be persecuted by religious majorities. Witness, in theocratic Iran, the victimisation of Sunni Muslims by Shia Muslims.

A democratic secular state is the true protector of all religions. It guarantees religious freedom and equ ali ty, ensuring that no one faith lords it over others. That is why, among other things, I favour the disestablishment of the Church of England, to end the privileged constitutional and legal status of this increasingly diminishing protestant sect.

Freedom of expression should not, of course, be abused. A harmonious, good natured society is one where people are civil and courteous to each other. Prejudice and discrimination have no place in civilised discourse. Offensive language - whether sexist, anti-gay or racist – is rude and divisive and should always be challenged.

Those who justify legal limits to free speech need to answer a number of questions:

When it comes to censorship and bans, where do you start and where do you stop? Who decides what is sufficiently offensive to merit restriction? At what point do you draw the line? Isn't this an inevitably subjective judgement? When does a well-meaning desire to protect vulnerable communities spill over into the dangerous territory of giving some communities privileged protection and immunity from criticism?

All human beings are worthy of respect, but not all ideas deserve respect. There is, for example, no obligation to respect Nazism, misogyny, white supremacism, homophobia or creationism.

I grew up in Australia in the 1960s, during a period of McCarthyite-style red-baiting. Because I opposed the US and Australian war against Vietnam, I was denounced as a communist and nearly lost my job. From firsthand experience, I know freedom of expression is a precious freedom that must be safeguarded.

That is why I argue the right to free speech can be legitimately restricted only when it involves incitement to violence or libel/defamation. The threat of violence and the spreading of untruths diminish free, honest and open debate. Otherwise, speech must remain free. The rare exceptions are instances like not being free to publish terrorist bomb-making instructions.

The price of living in a free society is that we are sometimes confronted with views we find offensive and insulting. Faced with bigoted, intolerant opinions, the most effective way to challenge them is by calm, reasoned debate to dispel ignorance and prejudice – not by bans and censorship. Physical threats and violence are unacceptable in a democracy (even in an imperfect democracy like ours).

In January, I challenged Sir Iqbal Sacranie of the Muslim Council of Britain when he denounced homosexuality as immoral, harmful and diseased. But I did not seek to ban him, nor did I support calls for his prosecution. I defended Sir Iqbal's right to free speech. Will he and his fellow MCB leaders now defend my right to freedom of expression? Or is Sir Iqbal another of those selective free speech proponents? Freedom of expression for me, but not for you?

freedom of expression march: bigots to the left, bigots to the right and bigots to the front of them

THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE

There were bigots to the left,
and bigots to the right,
there were bigots to the front,
plus silly anarco-trendies carping on the internet,
and fellow bigots from the National Cunt.

But into the valley of freedom,
ride the valiant Light Brigade,
brave warriors for truth,
they want everyone to know the score,
they'll die for the right to be rude,
and to look at pictures of girls in the nude,
and serious stuff, like the right to be a bore.

Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the Light Brigade,
calling for the right to call a spade a spade,
and god a nasty rotter,
but sorry,
now they're saying on their blog,
that you can't say god is a mother ****er.

The facist pig bigots, religious, left and right,
have got 'em one by one,
and now freedom has gone,
you know - the magic thing our grand dads faught World War 2 for and won.

Now you can't even sing a raucous rebel song,
or even mock,
and call a priest a fool in a frock,
because of bigots, religious, left and right,
they are all equally sick, frustrated and uptight,
they can't take a poke, they can't even take a joke,
fuck 'em, fuck, fuck fuck!

V For Vendetta: A is For Anarchist, H is for Hollywoodporncrudcrap

What is it about Hollywood? Everything they touch turns into porn with no sex.

'V for Vendetta' is the latest classic example. The original master piece of a book features an English anarchist as a 'hero', fighting facism.

Hollywoodporncrudcrap edits out the anarchist and turns him into an American liberal dressed in a cloak behaving like a Guardian and/or Independent reader dressed up as Batman.

In fact the 'Guardian' (also known as 'Pravda2' or 'The Labourgraph'), recently had a review of 'V for Vendetta' (March 17th), and did not mention the word 'Anarchism' once, probably because they think 'Anarchy' is a Calvin Klein perfume, but also because there is not even a 'blims' worth of anarchism in the film.

The co author of 'V for Vendetta' Alan Moore, a self confessed anarchist who was expelled from grammer school for dealing acid, is not mentioned in the credits of the film currently being flogged worldwide.

He thought the script was so bad that he demanded that they take his name off, and refuses to take any money for it. He has also asked DC Comics to take his name off the book - because although he co wrote it, they tricked him and David Lloyd (easy to con artists who did not read the small print) into signing the rights away for ever - or until the end of the universe, which ever is longer.

In an interview with The Beat Alan Moore explains:

As far I'm concerned, the two poles of politics were not Left Wing or Right Wing. In fact they're just two ways of ordering an industrial society and we're fast moving beyond the industrial societies of the 19th and 20th centuries. It seemed to me the two more absolute extremes were anarchy and fascism. This was one of the things I objected to in the recent film, where it seems to be, from the script that I read, sort of recasting it as current American neo-conservatism vs. current American liberalism. There wasn't a mention of anarchy as far as I could see. The fascism had been completely defanged. I mean, I think that any references to racial purity had been excised, whereas actually, fascists are quite big on racial purity.

The Beat: Yeah, it does seem to be a common element.

Moore: It does seem to rather be a badge they wear. Whereas, what I was trying to do was take these two extremes of the human political spectrum and set them against each other in a kind of little moral drama, just to see what works and what happened. I tried to be as fair about it as possible. I mean, yes, politically I'm an anarchist; at the same time I didn't want to stick to just moral blacks and whites. I wanted a number of the fascists I portrayed to be real rounded characters. They've got reasons for what they do. They're not necessarily cartoon Nazis. Some of them believe in what they do, some don't believe in it but are doing it any way for practical reasons. As for the central character of the anarchist, V himself, he is for the first two or three episodes cheerfully going around murdering people, and the audience is loving it. They are really keyed into this traditional drama of a romantic anarchist who is going around murdering all the Nazi bad guys.

At which point I decided that that wasn't what I wanted to say. I actually don't think it's right to kill people. So I made it very, very morally ambiguous. And the central question is, is this guy right? Or is he mad? What do you, the reader, think about this? Which struck me as a properly anarchist solution. I didn't want to tell people what to think, I just wanted to tell people to think, and consider some of these admittedly extreme little elements, which nevertheless do recur fairly regularly throughout human history.

Regarding DC Comics Alan Moore told the Beat:

By asking DC to take my name off 'V for Vendetta' and stop giving me the money for V for Vendetta, all I'm asking for is for them to treat me in the same way they’ve been completely happy to treat hundreds of much greater comics creators than I over the decades. I'm asking them to say to me the same thing they said to Gardner Fox and Jack Kirby and to all those other guys, just say to me you are not going to see a penny for any kind of future reproductions of your work and we're not going to put your name on them. Why should I be singled out?

So far DC Comics have continued to use Alan Moore's name on the book he wrote and they stole. Maybe someone should drop acid in their tea?

In an revealing interview with Comicbookresources.com Alan Moore explains how acid dealing at school got him into the comic buisness:

I was dealing acid. It was 60s. I was a 17 year old boy. Dealing it at school was a lot better than plan A, which was dumping it in the water supply. They should have taken that into consideration. The thing is, the headmaster didn't really share my sense of fun of the incident. And he not only expelled me from school, but he went to all of the further education colleges, universities and art schools, he wrote to them and told them that I was a creeping cancer on the morals of all of his pupils and they shouldn't take me on. And then of course when I started to try for jobs, they wanted a reference from a school. Pretty much from the age of 17 he wanted to make sure that I never did anything again for the rest of my life. Which seems a little harsh for a 17 year old. Okay, so I was a sociopathic 17 year old.

Where is he now? Has he stuck around long enough to see your success?

He hung himself. A few months later. I had nothing to do with that.

But so yeah, that was the backbreaker, the termination of my school career which didn't really leave me with a lot of choices. The only jobs I could get were the only jobs anyone could get even with a prison record. You know, job listing in the yards, or cleaner of a hotel. And then get a precarious foothold on office jobs, which were lowly pay but were at least indoors. You know… and then coming to the age of about 24, something like that, I had got a wife. And I was thinking well, I've always wanted to do something creative in my life , like writing. And I thought, well if I don't do it now, I'm just going to find myself in these miserable jobs when I'm 50, with a lot of regrets. And that terrified me. so I decided I was going to quit the job and just try to make a genuine go of at it as an artist. As soon as I quit the job my wife announced the tests were back and they were positive and we got a baby on the way. At which point, I had a decision: give up a secure job, and throw yourself into this terrible insecurity with an infant on the way. On the other and I realized that once the baby had arrived and was staring at me with those big hungry eyes that I'd never have the nerve to quit the job. And so then they offered me the job back, I said no, I'll leave.

After sometime on the dole he got a job on a newspaper doing a comic strip, and one thing lead to another .... which just goes to show - L.S.D can be good for your career! Chemists reunite - we need acid!

Of course acid alone won't save humanity but there is some hope: while Hollywoodporncrudcrap may be getting away with stealing the creative stash of an anarchist ex acid dealer, some real anarchists in New York have done a 'portal' website for 'V For Vendetta' fans who want to know the real story called 'A For Anarchy'. They have also done a downloadable lay up for a flyer to distribute at cinemas showing the film. Anyone want to hit the Odeon?

schmoo says ... Support your local acid dealing anarchist genius: get out your credit cards and rip them up now! Then look out for Alun Moore's next book coming when he has finished it, it's going to be way better than the Bible and the Koran put together - and he has promised he is not signing it away to anyone, and will never work for DC Comics again. He says he does not care if it does not sell. Typical! Is he a masochist as well as an anarchist - or are they the same thing??? Probally, but either way, he's one cool dude.

march of morons: anyone who says anita roddick is a sell out is a police informer

schmoo went round to the 'anarchist' so called social center (more like squalid squealers bore yourself to death center) on Russell Sq after the 'Anti Iraqi People, March of Morons' organised by the SWPrats, which was quite rightly boycotted by almost everyone in Britain.

As usual the SWP liars are claiming 100,000 people supported their march, when in fact there were only 10 people there.

Spotted amongst the Saturday shoppers; 'No Nukes' Benn, the idiot who gave us Windscale Nuclear Power Station and has supported every lost cause ever since; Religious nutter (he believes in 'god') Bruce Kent from CND (run by M15, not god you utter twat); the vile George Galloway (Big Brother wannabe) smoking his £15 a time cigars like he was Stalin; a BBC reporter (I'm only doing my boring properganda job); a couple of 'Independent' Robert Fisk groupies (romantic insurgency supporters looking to have sex with a suicide bomber); and a couple of 'anarchist' fashion victims looking for a riot (between the hours of 1-5pm cos they're child minding after that).

As if a riot would accomplish anything except bring us even closer to prison camps, martial law and/or civil war than we are now. We need conflict resolution worldwide now - that is the real 'revolution'. Only agent provocateurs and police informers or 'Paris '68 revivalists' would be encouraging a riot. And if they really really want a riot - they can take the Channel Tunnel train, or Easy Jet, and be riot tourists in Paris right now (but they won't).

What a sad bunch of 'sell outs' the Russell Sq 'anarchists' are - they actually had the nerve to ask for money to get in to their 'March of Morons' after party; typical city stock broker war profiteer toff types! They already had a big tin full of cash - but the greedy creeps wanted more! And they call themselves anarchists! The Tories are more radical than these sell out catapult-ist (without even a catapult) exploiters of innocents.

Of course they are the first to jump on the hand wringing (minging) macho-anarchist 'I'm more radical than thou' band wagon, and start slagging off Anita Roddick for being a 'sell out'. What tatty, lazy thinking prats.

Basically they hate the fact she has changed the world for the better more than they ever will, is happier and healthier than them, has better quality, more lasting relationships than them, smells better than them, gets more press than them, and does not have to hang out in wobbly places with politically challenged fools like them. Also, as most of them are male losers who have been dumped by their girl friends, they probably hate the fact that she is a woman and a real revolutionary. If only Bono was like her - instead of being a card carrying member of the idiot Celeb Party.

The 'anarchist' (what a joke/insult to true anarchists), 'social' center stunk of police informing dole scroungers looking like white rasta brew crew, so we went to 'Mac Kill Yourself' just for the hell of it - better coffee (which is not saying much by the way), and no double agents (except possibly for the weirdo with the expensive mobile phone selling the 'Big Sell Out Tissue' magazine).

Apparently police informers get £160 a month on top of the basic dole rate. Watch out, the more 'anarchist' they look, the more likely it is they are working for the Masons. Also, most drug dealers and Green Party candidates are police informers.

bono is a disgrace: better dead than 'red'

Give A Dog A Bono and he'll sell out Africa for 1%

Disgraced, failed song writer Bono is a "wanker" according to Liam Gallagher of Oasis.

schmoo agrees 101%; Bono is a disgrace to humanity, and (worse still) to all musicians everywhere (even on other planets).

Apparently Bono is no longer living in the gutter with Bob 'Goebbels' Geldoff say ex friends (who do not want to admit they ever knew either of them).

They say Bono is now trying to go 'main stream' in the sewers of Washington, and is sleeping with rats riddled by the neo-con virus, after selling his soul to the Devil for just 1% of the earnings of a credit card called 'red', which is actually a front for the evil masonic 'American Express' credit card company.

schmoo has heard "on the grapevine" that at least one member of Bono's band U2 may be quitting because they can't play music with a blood drinking vampire.

We are wondering if addiction to blood drinking could explain Bono's obsession with AIDs and the colour red. Bono makes Kate Moss look like a nun; at least she is only into 'white' at the moment, and hopefully will never get into the 'brown'.

Bono's latest deal to sell his soul to American Express is certainly further strong evidence that he is indeed a blood drinker along with Michael Jackson and Garry "that will do nicely up your arse" Glitter.

The famous American Express green card, now ominously turned red by Bono 'Vinyl Solution' (possibly heralding World War 3), is in fact used by gross sex fiends all over the world who pretend to be 'do gooders' when really they 'do fuck anything'.

The capitalist death cult card is also known to be used by many of the worst and most evil people on this planet; real low life including top arms dealers, and serial killers such as Shell executives and Tesco store managers. These people work in league with known devil worshippers such as Tony Blair (suspected leader of the 'Fagin Gang') and George Bush (ex US president) who pretend to be servants of 'God' while spreading fire and brimstone and Walmarts where ever they go.

Such is the fear caused by 'American Express' that simply producing the dreaded card makes waiters and servants bow and grovel in fear of their lives. They rush to do what ever they are told, however gross or demeaning. This is similar to guards in a concentration camp, as pointed out by the great British leader and night bus organiser Ken 'oyster card' Livingstone.

schmoo can also reveal links with vile tat merchants Armani whose ill fitting 'designer' jeans may cause child birth defects, and the evil witch Claudia Sheffer whose adverts allegedly make 66.6% of all women feel sick, according to a recent 'scientific' poll by 'Hello! You Are A Fucking Ugly Failure' magazine.


schmoo says ... Be very inc-red-ulous of Bono. Bono is either inc-red-ibly stupid, inc-red-ibly miss guided, or inc-red-ibly evil. One thing Bono certainly is not is inc-red-able.

The foul Bono obviously does not know that the red card is what football refs bring out when they send players off for grossly unsportsmanlike behaviour!

Don't buy Bono's plastic! Don't spend your bread with red!

Bono is a No-No.

History of Disgrace: 'Blind Aid' was considered bad taste incarnate by most sane people at the moment their TV's and radios started making an ugly noise called 'If they Knew It was the Devil Singing They Would Puke Blood'. The Satan inspired pop properganda campaign ruined Christmas forever, and was renamed 'Band Aid' because of the number of virtually dead pop stars it saved from almost certain death by media starvation.

Like the useless water proof plasters sold in 'Boots the Drug Pushing Pimps', all 'Band Aid' did was stop air getting to the open gangrenous wound that is Africa, covering up the infection so it spread inwards, and preventing the puss oozing over tourist areas.

The African puss went totally rancid in the early 2000's, so even the tourists started noticing the stench of rotting bodies as they sipped their 'Coke-A-Killer' on the beaches. The vile puss spread across the continent so it could even be seen from space - but not on 'Sky TV' which was censored. Instead we had ads for holidays in Tunisia, and then 'Live 8' to prevent mass hysteria in the 'caring' ghettos of Woking, Surbiton, Hampstead, Islington, etc etc.

This was followed by a septic rash of BBC 'News Fright' specials which we now know resulted in the ongoing 'Super Bug Brother' epidemic which escaped from TV studios and spread nationwide due to a total lack of personal TV viewing hygine. Scientists fear it may now be mutating into the more virulent 'happy slapping' craze.

The 'Live 8' Africon spectacular has gone down in history as 'Live Hate' because only stars everyone hates a lot, like the mad American cultist 'Madonna man-bully-bitch' could be persuaded to sing/screech.

Unfortunately Madonna has moved to London and now lives round the corner from 'schmoo house', considerably lowering the tone of the neighbourhood due to her 'domestic' arguments with her talentless, scene stealing, pisshead husband, and her infantile outbursts in the local Nazi press (Evening Standard) against the congestion charge. We used to think Madonna was alright, but not any more; she's obviously done too much yoga.

Not satisfied with the likes of Madonna, Sir 'Geldofuck-Everyone' even tried to trick the incredibly gifted band 'The Rolling Stones' into prostituting themselves for 'Live 8'. Of course the saintly Stones refused because they are indeed living saints, 100% decent humans, and genuine 'Fair Trade' class 'A' real musicians (unlike Bono and U2 or Madonna).

Undaunted by anything like the obvious truth, Geldoff claimed 100% success after his multi national concert corporation broke even despite costing £20 million, but it soon emerged that the net result of 'G8' was that instead of 55 thousand people dying every day in the African concentration camps, 'productivity' was in fact down to 35 thousand dead a day.

Geldoff was therefore soon demoted by OXFAMINE and other death industry NGO 'charities' who have replaced him as their 'pop priest' by Bono who is now fronting the new 'red' card, dipped in bird flu virus and AID's positive African children's blood.

LATEST BONO NEWS: 'U2', Bono's infamous funeral and wedding band, has cut short it's world tour of funerals in Australia (no weddings wanted them). The tour cancellation could be due to bird flu scientists fears that the alleged 'wankers' may be spreading the deadly bird flu virus at their gigs as a sick way of getting more work.