how to join the missing data disc 'gold rush'

'Alternative Dispute Resolution Services' has come up with a brilliant way to make money that involves suing the government. Almost anyone can do it with a minimum of investment and virtually no work.

They are selling a 'pack' for £5.99 that enables 25 million child benefit claimants to sue the government for up to £300 under the Data Protection Act 1998, due to the recent 'missing cd discs' fiasco.

The potential market is vast as 25 million x £5.99 is nearly £150 million pounds. Before they even had all the free publicity in the press, Alternative Dispute Resolution Services sold 14000 copies at £5.99, making nearly £84000 for doing almost nothing.

Here is how you can start making loads of money due to the governments incompetence and negligence:

1. Send £4.99 to schmoo on the run (email us for payment details). We will send you pretty much exactly the same information that 'Alternative Dispute Resolution Services' is selling for £5.99.

2. Once you get the copy, go down to the photocopying shop, and make a few copies to start yourself off. When you see it is working you can get a 1000 copies printed, and save money on photocopying. If you sell 1000 at £4.99, you can make about £50 grand (- printing & promotion costs).

3. Start selling the 'pack' to everyone you know who claims child benefit. That is anyone with children, plus a few benefit fraudsters. We advise charging £4.99 or less, so as always to do it cheaper than 'Alternative Dispute Resolution Services'.

4. If you are really keen you could try targeting benefit offices, or parents picking up their kids from school.

This latest nightmare for the government could potentially cost taxpayers £7.5 billion, making the two missing discs the most expensive CD's ever. And there was not one tune on them. It is also likely that the government is liable for any losses due to fraudsters making use of the information to pillage people's accounts.

So what is the catch? The most likely losers will be the people who pay 'Alternative Dispute Resolution Services' £5.99, when they can get the same deal for £4.99 from schmoo on the run.

There is also the slight detail that the chance of the government ever paying out compensation has about the same odds as doing the Euro Lottery (95 million to one).