Wednesday, June 20, 2007

summer solstice 2007: holiday inn opens close to stonehenge + glastonbury is hell

Above: A new 'Holiday Inn', built a mile from Stonehenge, has opened just in time to host the massive Summer Solstice 'Stonehenge Free Festival 2007'. The hotel looks like an 'Amazon Books' warehouse in Ohio, USA, rather than a place to stay near Stonehenge, Wiltshire. Unbelievably, but true, the address is Midsummer Place, Solstice Park, but it would make a good set for 'Dawn of the Dead'. It has 103 fully climate changing, air-conditioned, en-suite bedrooms, with 'Wi-die' internet connections - but no tipis! Along with a massive car park, which can double as an illegal free festival site, there is a 24/7 drugs bar with a 'free festival style' open fire. According to their press release, the bar at the Stonehenge Holiday Inn is called the '303 Bar'. A better name might have been '420 Bar' (or '9 Bar') - except for the lack of THC. Instead the bar deals only in various dangerous drinks (Class A, B & C), plus 'weed' (highly addictive, fast-burning-at-high-temp 'tobacco crack weed' that is). What a disappointment that in 2007, after generations of failed drug policies, which only serve to put everyone in danger, no cannabis, 'acid' (LSD) or 'e' (MDMA) will be available safely on site for those that want to enjoy them at the 'Holiday Inn'. Instead, it is allegedly crack, smack, and prostitutes that will be on tap, unregulated as usual, for the more desperate & unhappy clientele of the 'Heroin Inns' worldwide franchise.

Above: The new entrance to the Stonehenge site, commissioned by 'English Heritage' to be in keeping with surrounding architecture. It will be open in time for this years Summer Solstice celebrations, otherwise known as 'Pagan's Christmas' (21st June). To mark the occasion, McDonalds is launching a new vegan style 'Paganburger' made from Soyent Green, and has signed a sponsorship deal with the Druids, which involves hunting down and deep frying all hippies (and their dogs) for sacrifice.

McDonalds is counting on market research which says that there are now more practicing Pagans in Britain than practicing 'Christians' (who number less than 'Muslims'), while 'Christian Hypocrites' make up the massive 'burgered' majority. Sane, 'normal' people who do not believe in anything crazy, expect today's TV listings, are now totally out numbered and in danger of extinction, along with the red squirrel, and cod.

Pagans believe that Stonehenge is a 'sacred site', when actually it is probably the site of a Stone Age Nuclear Power station.

• Glastonbury Festival Hell: The Pagan's fashionable, high society version of 'Ascot', is the 'Glastonbury Festival' at which they mass, like Lemmings, to worship the gods of mud, shit and piss (+ Hep C, projectile vomiting, MRSA Superbugs, Bad 'E', Trench Foot etc). It is a bizarrely boring, meaningless, mass human sacrifice - of their cash. The money goes to support benefit fraudsters, drug dealers, BBC professional air head presenters, fennel tea drinkers, other criminals, and 1000's of worthless, free loading, 15 second 'celebs', who pay nothing for everything. What cash is left goes to a few 'good causes' - as long as they are hopeless. This year the main 'lost cause' theme is 'climate change', so the top 'stars', will all be coming and going in helicopters.

• Kate Moss: The helicopter flying, climate changing/raping 'stars' descending on Glastonbury include the hideous 'face of cocaine' Kate Moss, who looks like she is on heroin, and has half a South American rain forest up her nose. The Kate Moss 'Cartel' helicopter should be equipped with a stretcher - she could be knocked out by a rain drop at any moment.

Fact: Most Druids are Dentists.

McDonalds = Fast Food, Slow Death. Glastonbury = McDonalds for Pagans.

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