Above: The BT 'Count Dracula' Tower on a full moon in central London, just yards from the schmoo safe house - and they cut my phone and broadband service off for a month!
God knows what they do to people in Scotland - no wonder the scots want independence.
Regular viewers will have noticed a gap in broadcasts from the 'schmoo broadcasting corporation' (sbc). We would like to thank our sponsors British Telefuck for contributing to the break in transmission; B.T. = Bad Traders.
Meanwhile 'denial of service' spammers possibly working for the CIA, Mossad, or the 'Adams' London crime family, managed to wipe out the schmoo email account, and deluge a totally innocent hard drive with spy ware, and Trojan Horse attacks, not to mention various virus attacks far worse than a Bernard Matthews turkey bird flu outbreak.
Jesus, sorry! What did I say?
NOW AVAILABLE IN CHINA - But there is good news - China has lifted it's 'bamboo firewall' blanket ban on Chinese citizens reading 'The Thoughts of Schmoo'.