Tuesday, September 30, 2008

how to survive the crunch: become a hippie

Millions of people are worrying about how they are going to survive the credit crunch. The answer is simple: become a hippy.

1. Smoke Pot - unlike alcohol there is no VAT on illegal drugs so you save money straight away. As cannabis is far safer than alcohol you also save on the cost of liver transplants in the future, so smoking pot is a sound investment for your old age. You could also consider becoming a weed dealer and/or grower which will help rebuild your nation's shattered economy.

2. Don't cut your hair, cut your costs - having long hair saves money and is warmer in winter. People with long hair save fuel costs, cut national dependence on foreign fuel, and cut CO2 emissions which could save humanity from extinction.

3. Save Don't Shave - razor blades, shaving cream and other fetish body hair removers such as leg waxing kits etc are all products of the decadent 'throw away' consumer society which is destroying the rain forest and your credit rating. Nature gave us hair for a reason. Don't help Boots survive the credit crunch, help yourself and become a hairy hippie.

4. Squat now while stocks last - if you have a mortgage you can't pay don't worry about foreclosure. In fact the more foreclosures the better as this increases the housing stock available for squatting - now you can live mortgage free and rent free!

5. Become a pseudo 'veggie' or 'virtual vegan' - don't worry, most veggies cheat so you can eat fish and meat when ever you want, but eating veggie can dramatically cut your food costs. For example Tescos are doing a can of red kidney beans for 18pence, while a pack of King Prawns costs at least £3.00. One meat meal requires 10 meals worth of grain to produce. Meat production creates 18% of world Co2 emissions while air travel contributes just 3%. This means 'veggie' hippies can still fly Ryan Air and save the planet! It is Plain Obvious.

6. Dress down (and out) - even if you have a family trust fund, looking poor is the safest option in these dangerous knife crime times, plus it will save you a fortune। Even Madonna shops at Oxfam, that's why she is so rich. Anotherway is to go to cloths swapping parties. If you are really broke, raid the charity clothing recycling bins; don't feel guilty - just remember that we are all Africans now. Alternatively you could become a nudist and cut your clothing bill completely.

7. Start or join a commune -
council tax is chargeable per household so if you have twenty people in your commune the cost saving per person or couple is dramatic. With communal meals, shared sleeping areas and a washing up rota you can save even more and might only have to do the washing up once every two weeks!

8. Love is all you need
- the new economy should not be based on shares but on sharing; especially your credit card bills. Buy shares in condom manufacturers, they are booming because having sex is cheaper than going out; cash in on the fucking economy.

9. Give Peace a chance -
it is totally unrealistic of course, but supporting hippie pacifist defence policies could save billions for national economies. If the whole world went hippie the only defence we would need to think about would be against violent anti hippie skinheads, Tory counter revolutionaries, or a 'UFO' invasion from outer space.

10. Go to India - you might be able to get a job in a call centre.

All this goes to show George Bush was partly right. We do need a new world order; a hippy world order.

Monday, September 29, 2008

what happens when they are too big to save?

The government keeps on saying these fraud and money laundering operations are too big to be allowed to fail, which may well be true ... but what happens when they are too big to save?

What seems to be happening is that massive 'too big to fail' gambling and racketeering operations are currently being swallowed up by even larger 'too big to fail' criminal organisations in an attempt to launder the proceeds of crime and keep the Fraud Squad at ebay, wasting time on small fry.

This means the problem is being concentrated to the point where the few remaining criminal organisations (Goldman, Barclays etc) will be simply too big to save. This is when Martial Law will be declared.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

obama mccain debate: two talking rubbish heads

They both talked a lot of rubbish on foreign policy, but Obama won on points with even more rubbish on foreign policy than McCain, which is a major achievement and could win him the White House.

It was very disappointing that Obama appears to have swallowed the lie that Russia was the aggressor against the Georgian war criminals. Obama exposed his surprising lack of knowledge about the Georgian problem and Russian policy. Seems Obama knows only a little more than McCain, which is very worrying. The only hope for stopping another Cold War and endless bad news about Russia on TV is that Obama knows the truth, but had to appeal to the brain washed american voters.

If McPain gets in, god will help us all - at least we can be sure God does not support the crazy Walt Disney Creationist Theory which makes the universe just six thousand years old.

While McCain repeated the word Veterans as many times as he could and claimed he won the war in Iraq, Obama's attitude to Iran, Iraq and Pakistan was equally worrying. His idea of getting the troops out of Iraq in 16 months is utter baloney. Again the world can only hope Obama does know the real truth but has to talk this rubbish to keep his brain washed liberals sending cash on the internet.

McCain claimed the 'Surge' was all his idea and won the war in Iraq. Of course he did not mention the Shia cease fire which was brokered thanks to the help of Iran, and the Sunni rejection of Al Quada in Iraq without which the Americans would still be fighting for their lives.

A potential knock out blow came with the Bracelet Moment when Obama delivered a fantastic left hook that appeared from nowhere. Obama brilliantly responded to McCain's tear jerk dead soldier bracelet story with his own: "I've got a bracelet, too, from Sergeant - from the mother of Sergeant Ryan David Jopeck, given to me in Green Bay. She asked me, can you please make sure another mother is not going through what I'm going through".

McCain was totally unprepared for this and floundered but stayed standing when he should have had a heart attack. Many are comparing this debate with the Kennedy Nixon debate; McCain was obviously trying to come across like honest grandad Ronald Raygun but he failed, and looked like a crook making an confession most of the time. McCain never looked Obama in the eye once.

Meanwhile the Obama cult blog Daily Kos and the more rational Huffington Post are full of how Obama won the debate, while the McCain campaign put out an ad claiming they had won - before the debate even happened.

Over all neither came out with total instant victory, but these debates are mainly a fight for the undecided voters and Obama seems to have done by far the best on that measurement. Combined with the fact Obama's campaign is far more organised on the ground, Obama still looks like winning, possibly with a landslide.

Obama's success and McCain's failure in this debate may well be seen by history as the turning point.

Bartcop.com is probably the best blog on the US election in the world.

Friday, September 26, 2008

bail out bad, no bail out much worse

As George Bush says "don't panic", here at the 'safehouse' emergency supplies are being checked; food including spirulina, water, fuel, drugs, gold bullion + cash stash, bicycle, solar mobile phone charger, anti mob defences, etc.

The emerging horrible truth is that despite it's failings, the bail out is necessary - even if it is likely that it is going to fail in a few months.

Other developments:

McCain has proved himself - to be a total slime ball. We did have some slight respect for him, but after yesterday not any more.

Obama has proved himself to be a decent human being, despite the fact that he is currently supporting the Georgian war criminals because of his obvious ignorance, shared by most Americans at the moment. If Obama does not become President, America is doomed, and they will drag the whole world down with them.

According to the BBC you can now buy a three bedroom house in Detroit for $1000.

Gold prices

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

US bailout robbery blues: it's your money and your life

All across America, from right to left and back again almost everyone is against the bailout for the Wall Street junkies. They think it is a robbery and it is (not to mention rape and murder), but the robbers have a gun to America's head, they have taken all the cash and maxed out all the credit cards, and now they are saying "its your money and your life".

It is looking more and more like Obama is going to win the election (if they don't cancel it). Before the neo cons get run out of Washington and avoid being prosecuted for their crimes, they want to take everything; they are prepared to destroy anything they can't steal.

Like a helpless mugging victim, America will probably be forced to hand over the cash. Not surprising then that the American Army has been ordered to prepare for action - in America. The US Army 3rd Infantry Division's 1st Brigade Combat Team has spent thirty-five of the last sixty months in Iraq, but now the unit is training for domestic operations.

$700 Billion is larger than the annual GDP of the entire country of Mexico.

$700 Billion is larger than Canada's entire federal debt (Canada is running twin surpluses, so $10 is larger than Canada's entire federal debt).

Bank Run in Asia (Bank of East Asia, Hong Kong’s third-largest with $51 billion in assets) caused by "malicious rumors on the internet".

useful economic crisis blogs: mish's global economic analysis (check the ongoing comments); also naked capitalism

Bartcop.com is always good.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

close the banks

Sub prime blues hit bend in economy; reality.

Close the Banks (by schmook)

Close the banks, and repeal the slavery laws,
it's your money and your life.

Close the banks, before they make summer too expensive,
before spring is extinct.

Close the banks, they are a Vampire Death Cult,
Drakula is alive and well, in a branch near you.

Close the banks, and 'abolish capital punishment;
the people have always been punished by capital'.

Close the banks, 'their' capital is our time on earth,
the amassed toil of generations, stolen without pity,
we have enough laundries that don't work.

Close the banks, the Politicians Pimps,
the Multinational Vandals,
the Stooges of the Rate of the Dollar.
They make deals with genocidal murderers.

Close the banks, and open your hearts!
The money has all gone, so join the real economy

Close the Banks, this is one debt we owe ourselves.

Quicktime movie version with 'dub' sound track.

Friday, September 5, 2008

republican pretension convention 2008

Security at the safehouse was relaxed today now that the Republican Pretension Convention 2008 is over.

This means it is safe to watch BBC News 24 without having to be exposed to the political porn star Sarah whats-her-name Pain every five minutes, or her sugar daddy pimp John McCain. How come nearly 50% of Americans are Republican S &M porn addicts?

It is disgusting to see Palin & McCain pretending to be decent human beings; they just can't avoid being obscene.

Question: Is it really possible they can get these two crackpots into the White House? Answer: Yes They Can.

Picture via Bartcop.com, probably the best US election coverage in the world.